…cos the AcidQueen don’t wanna hear it.

So many things to talk about today, so let’s get down to it shall we?

ISSUE ONE: The Defence.

Luke DeCock has opened a lovely can of worms with this week’s iteration of The Monday Debate–and I, of course, had to go and chum the waters a bit. I should have probably been a bit more blunt-force, but what would be the fun in that?

Simply put, our defense is fearsome–and not in the happy fun way, either. Joe Corvo is best when used in strict moderation. Joni Pitkanen is a question mark. Josef Melichar should have been left in Sweden. Nicky Wallin should go back to Sweden (his best season was 05-06. Seriously kids. I love the man but he’s done like dinner). Timmy Gleason…eh. When Tim Gleason and Joni Pitkanen are your likely top pairing? Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Am I being too harsh? No. This team should have laid out the coin for Aaron Ward, but no–Uncle Pete has decreed that the nickel-and-diming shall continue, and so we get Yet Another Nickel-and-Dime Defence.

ISSUE TWO: Bomani Jones and the Survey of Doom

You all remember Bomani Jones’ pitiful excuse for an attempt to take a potshot at hockey in the South find Hurricanes fans back during the 2006 ECF. He deliberately went to places like Sammy’s (which has never been a destination for fans–mostly because it’s pretty exclusively NCSU-oriented and also because the owner is just a teensy bit hostile towards us damn carpetbagger Caniacs…nevermind that a lot of State fans are also Hurricanes fans), the fringes of Durham (where of course he just had to toss out the gratuitous bit of sports racism–i.e. “hockey is for white folks”), and the inboxes of a couple buddies of his (one of whom is a NASCAR fan and the other one of whom isn’t even a fan of the Hurricanes).

Bomani decided to, after getting hit with the Ten Ton Hammer by half the Caniac Nation for being such a douche, whine and cry that he was just trying to be funny. Of course you were just trying to be funny, Bomani. Of course you were. And I am the King of Siam. Et Cetera, Et Cetera.

So–why am I bringing all this up? Because Bo decided to bring up a survey of the 500 residents of Hyde County (glove-tap to janeybell for that zinger) that supposedly showed that nobody in NC gives a fig for (or even knows about) the Hurricanes, and then use that as an excuse to show his ass yet again (on the heels of Greg Wyshynski’s mild clowning on the survey in the midst of getting some quotes from Hurricanes’ Media Czar Mike Sundheim)…after which Bo pussed out when questioned in the commentbox about what his “point” was supposed to be.

SUMMATION: Bo doesn’t know dinky-doo. He’s also a whiner–apparently anyone who took issue with him even in the slightest is an “oversensitive fan who missed the point”. Dudeman is a turtler, bigtime; therefore, I shall dub him Claude Avery.

(BTW, for those who have IMed or e-mauled me asking me to call in: I would like to, but I don’t have a phone at my desk nor do I know if I’ll be able to get into the equipment room at work so I can use the phone there. They don’t pay me teh moniez to hammer Bristoleros on the phone, yanno.

My major issue with the survey is that the sample size is pretty damn miniscule. It’s like Jeremy Clarkson asking a question of one audience member on Top Gear and then saying “There you have it, nought percent of the British population own a Prius/like diesels/want speed cameras/whatever”–which he does specifically to poke fun at pollsters. 500 people is not a sufficient sample size to give a good result, unless the base that the sample is drawn from is also very small (e.g. 500 people out of 10,000). Moreover, where was the survey conducted? Do I have to get out the Barbecue Map and show you mooks the sports breakdown of North Carolina or something?

I also have to wonder what the author of that poll was drinking when he came up with it–but that’s a question for another day.

ISSUE THREE: The Schedule

Yay, schedule’s out. Whoopie-ding, Detroit is the last game before the State Fair Road Trip (and of course, somebody’s already engaged in asshattery over it–quelle grande surprise).

Big deal. SlugFans are worse than Wings fans anyway–except that once the SlugFans sober up, they can at least talk hockey in a semi-intelligent manner.

Now that that’s out of the way:

I’m far more interested in the fact that the schedule is finally back to some semblance of normalcy–of course, since division rivals get played 6 times a piece, invariably some mental giant out there is going to start bringing out the “DEE DEE DEE, SE Division only gets a seed cos they play a weak division, durrr.”

The Red Wings win the President’s Trophy damn near every season because they play a weak division, and I don’t hear anyone saying anything about that. So why does the Southeast Division get hailed on? The Sabres won the President’s Trophy with the exact same division record that the Hurricanes had the year they won the Cup–but I don’t hear anything about that except for the random SlugThug calling me “bitter and angry” because s/he’s too drunk or soaked in his/her own personal issues to come up with something actually intelligent to say. So why does the Southeast Division get hailed on?

I keep hoping to have a cogent discourse with somebody on this topic–but so far it’s been about as fruitful as a Wipe Club raid*.

WARNING: Very funny, especially if you’re a WoW player, but there’s lots of profanity thrown about at that link. Don’t listen at work or with the kids around.