Archive for the 'WHAT THE HELL MAN?!' Category

15
Jul

A New Hope….?

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: GM Insanity, Heavy-drinking AQ and WHAT THE HELL MAN?!

Guess Who Might Be Coming For Dinner? — LSB

I don’t even fucking believe it. Jeff O’Neill? The guy who needed shipped out of Raleigh before he wound up piledriving himself into a bridge abutment after getting tanked at Crowley’s?  The guy who was surly with fans (including his #1 fan on the whole damn planet, who he ripped a new one just for saying “hi” to him on the street), surly with the media, and whose best year was the Year of The Great Finals Run (well OK, and the year before, when he became the franchise’s first 40-goal man since Brendan damn Shanahan)?

The dude who played in a beer league all last season rather than play in the minors?  What?  I would HOPE he’s being looked at as an Albany signing, fo realz. I would also hope that O’s managed to get it through his head that if he wants to have anything even remotely resembling a career in the NHL again, he’s going to have to start in the minors and work his way into The Show.

And I’ll let the Tribal Elders take care of the other stuff.

08
Jun

no good deed goes unpunished (and alumni nights)

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: Cup Finals, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and fan stupidity

I write a post congratulating the Red Wings on winning the Cup. I was–so I thought, anyway–quite complimentary, laudatory even. I went out of my way to praise them, even. The Chief links it, showing the contrast between my post and the rather venomous screeds that were posted by a few Avs and Blues fans.

As you see from the comments, I wound up getting blasted by some of the Chief’s regulars anyway.

*facepalm*

That’s what I get for trying to show a modicum of good sportsmanship, I guess.

(I had some less-complimentary things I was going to say as part of the above, but I decided to follow the example set by–of all people–the Red Wings’ current and previous Captains and stay classy)

Moving on:

A guy on X Random Messageboard seriously suggested that Bret of the Gimpy Hip’s jersey be retired…only to immediately backtrack and say “I was really just stirring the pot” after being challenged by a couple people. Of course you were just stirring the pot, dude–that’s why, when you were originally challenged, you said “Oh, I want to see him recognized for all he’s done for the team”.

Dude, srsly. Give Gimpy a nice gift when he comes back with whatever team he signs with in the offseason or something–that’s what the Hurricanes that made it through the Greensboro years all got together and did for Kevin Dineen. Have an alumni night some years from now where our first Cup team gets recognized (perhaps when the Warchief’s jersey gets retired). But retiring his jersey? Hell no. No way has he done anything to warrant that.

Just being “a leader” is not enough. Just winning a Cup is not enough. Getting a jersey retired is and should be a singular and rare honour that is given only to those people whose career with the team stands out far above anyone else’s. It’s why I don’t think Ray Bourque’s jersey should have been retired by Colorado. Yes, he won a Cup with them–but he was there for a season and a freaking half. He totally deserved having his jersey retired by the Bruins…but the Avs? That was a freakin’ joke right there.

Just sayin’, of course.

08
May

WTF Nicky?

By The Acid Queen 0 Comments
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Categories: IHWC, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and player stupidity

I know, the World Championships are like the NIT of hockey–if you don’t make the playoffs or your team gets bounced, you play for your country in the World Championships with guys from your homeland that didn’t make it into (or are retired from) the NHL.

Niclas Wallin suspended two games at the World Championships for nasty hit — IIHF

The picture with the article tells the story–Nicky Wallin left his feet and just NAILED Switzerland’s Roman Wick against the glass. Wick was left with a concussion and had amnesia for ten minutes afterward–if he plays before the SEHL starts play again in the fall, I will be surprised.

I like a hard hit and Nicky can deliver on that, but that was just overkill right there. He totally deserved that suspension for being an idiot, and he should consider himself lucky that he wasn’t expelled from the tournament entirely.

Hope Wick will be OK.

15
Apr

So About The Other Night….

By The Acid Queen 9 Comments
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Categories: Rules, Sean Avery is gay, The Devils are punks and WHAT THE HELL MAN?!

For those who have been living under a rock, here’s the videotape:

If you don’t want to watch the video: Sean Avery decided to camp in front of Martin Brodeur–FACING the guy, with his back to the play, and do this psychotic little dance in an attempt to screen Brodeur while the Rangers were on a 5-on-3.

It, like the Babylon Project, failed. Chris Drury even had to skate up to him during the freaking play and tell him “STICK DOWN”–and when your captain does the equivalent of tell you “You’re doing it wrong”, that is saying something.

So on Monday, the NHL issued the following statement:

NEW YORK/TORONTO (April 14, 2008) — National Hockey League Senior Executive Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell today issued the following advisory on the interpretation of Rule 75 - Unsportsmanlike Conduct: “An unsportsmanlike conduct minor penalty (Rule 75) will be interpreted and applied, effective immediately, to a situation when an offensive player positions himself facing the opposition goaltender and engages in actions such as waving his arms or stick in front of the goaltender’s face, for the purpose of improperly interfering with and/or distracting the goaltender as opposed to  positioning himself to try to make a play.”

Predictably, a vocal handful of Rangers fans are crying that the League made this announcement specifically to protect Martin Brodeur (or as one fuckhead on X Random Messageboard calls him, “Brodiva”).

My comment to that, of course, is: Bullshit.

What Avery did went way beyond creative. It went to clear to the “what the fucking fuck were you thinking, you stupid fucking fuckhead?” end of the spectrum. I mean, really. There is a point where you have to admit that something a member of your team did is indefensible, and that point was reached Sunday night with Sean Avery’s egregiously fuckheaded display of unmitigated fucktardery.

Damn, think I dropped enough variations on the F-bomb there?

Anyway. My point remains: Rangers fans can spin this any way they want to. They can cry and whine and hop on the martyr bus all day if they want to. I don’t care. Avery’s little shenanigans on Sunday have zero place in the game, they go way beyond agitation, and when even Don Cherry (who normally loves you) calls you a “jerk”?

That is saying something right there. Maybe my boy Malik will beat his dumb ass down in practice again. I’d love to see that.

12
Apr

Glen Healy is a Classless Asshat

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: Glen Healy is a putz, Playoffs, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and announcer stupidity

Let’s go to the videotape:

As we see here, Patrick Thoresen took a slapshot to the neuticles and collapsed in obvious pain. The contortion of his face suggests that he was also making unpleasant noises indicative of being in a great deal of pain.

There should have been a whistle, but there wasn’t for reasons that aren’t important right now, and the Capitals scored on the play.

The non-whistle doesn’t bother me so much–it was a discretionary call, and the officials didn’t, from what I see, notice what had happened. What bothers me was the veiled assertion by Bristol North mediot Glen Healy that Thoresen had taken a dive–an assertion that he reiterated after the goal was scored when the poor bastard was being helped to the bench, still doubled over.

Did Healy know at the time that Patrick Thoresen may wind up losing his left nut?  No. But not knowing the severity of a guy’s injury does NOT, in my humble opinion, give one a free pass to make a stupid comment like “they better be doing leg surgery on him” and then follow it up with more excoriation while the poor bastard is STILL doubled over and barely able to make it to the locker room without assistance from two teammates and the trainers. You don’t go down like that and STAY DOWN if you are not having a serious issue. Not even a gutless diving puke like Darcy Tucker is stupid enough to pull that stunt.

Of course, this is the same asshat that cried and whined on the air over my boy’s epic shootout goal back in 05-06, so I guess something like this should come as no surprise.

Fuck you, Glen Healy. Fuck you right in your ear.

02
Apr

Conspiracy This

By The Acid Queen 4 Comments
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Categories: CRY MORE NOOB, Game Night, Heavy-drinking AQ, Oh those Russians, Screw Bristol, Southeast Division, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and fan stupidity

OK, let’s clear a few things up about last night:

1) THERE IS NO FREAKING CONSPIRACY ON THE PART OF THE NHL, THE OFFICIALS, OR ANY OTHER ENTITIES TO GET THE CAPITALS INTO THE PLAYOFFS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE HURRICANES. SO STOP COMMENTING AND SENDING ME E-MAULS WITH THAT SPECIOUS ARGUMENT, BECAUSE IT HOLDS ABOUT AS MUCH WATER AS A LEAKY SIEVE.

2) I shouldn’t have to write that in all-caps, but nothing gets on my tits more than whining about officiating after a loss.

3) Alex Ovechkin is a fun player to watch and he has leet skillz, but he can be a dirty bastard who gets away with a lot more than he should.

4) Scoring overcomes crappy officiating.

5) The Hurricanes were outplayed from the first puck-drop to the final buzzer. So stop whining.

6) The Hurricanes hold their destiny in their hands.

7) Meredith in Richmond can bite me–and on Friday, I’m going to kick her of the top of Pilot Mountain Jet Li style to drive the point home.

8 ) EJ Hradek can bite me. Him and that damnable towel of his. *shakes fist*

9) I’m going to do my work today and let the Hurricanes do whatever it is that they’re going to do.

10) I’m cutting my hair. Those of you who know me well know how significant that is.

Canes take on the Lightning at 7:00 tonight. Be there or be square.

28
Jan

Monday Morning Odds and Sods

By The Acid Queen 3 Comments
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Categories: All-Star Weekend, Crime and Punishment, NCAA, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and player stupidity

The one year I take only the most peripheral of interest in the ASG weekend, Eric Staal wins the Whalercanes’ first-ever MVP honours. According to what little I saw on Versus, the game was actually fun to watch–I did see Ovechkin’s attempt at a “trick shot”, though. OK, and I saw Nabokov keep messing up Martin St. Louis’ attempts to be cute with an occasional pokecheck. That was actually pretty funny. And I also felt the disturbance in the force that was the collective angst of Islanders Nation when DiPietro was caught on audio saying “FUCK! My hip!” 15 years, huh?  Egad.

Former Carolina Hurricanes’ prospect Nate Hagemo is currently sitting in the Hennepin County lockup on drug charges after getting busted with paraphernalia in a low-rent part of Minneapolis. From this mugshot here, I am betting that he’s a tweaker–which is not a good thing. The ‘Canes helped him once before when he had issues with addiction, but now?  He’s on his own, and his “comeback” attempt is pretty much hosed.

Shortly before the weekend, Luke DeCock made a very good argument for the Triangle finally getting the ASG.  The NHL made a promise to us some years ago, and they have yet to deliver on it while we’ve been busting our asses to do whatever it takes to get the ASG in our town–including busting ass to get to 12,309 season tickets before the start of the 2001-2002 season (whether the numbers were fudged by people no longer with the org or not is another issue–but the League agreed that the effort was sufficient and vowed to deliver on their end of the bargain…which, of course, never happened).  Want five-star hotel accomodations?  We got it (wish I could afford to spend the night there).  Want stuff to do?  We got it. We even have a pretty good hockey team here. C’mon Gary, it’s time to finally man up and deliver on that oath.

Tomorrow the Hurricanes take on the Rangers at the RBC. I’ll be heading right over from work, which should be fun. “Hello RBC parkbots, here’s $8 so that you don’t call somebody to tow my car that’s been parked there since 9 AM.”

16
Jan

When Good Teams Go Bad

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: Damien Cox is an assclown, David Shoalts is an assclown, Heavy-drinking AQ, Oh those Russians, Southeast Division, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and snark

When I said in my previous post that I didn’t want the Hurricanes to win the SE if it meant that they’d be third-by-default, I wasn’t expecting the Atlanta Thrashers to take me seriously. But y’know?  I’m glad they did, because I was starting to get worried that a team that really doesn’t seem to give half a damn would actually make it into the playoffs.

ATTN HURRICANES: YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TALENT TO WIN ON TALENT ALONE.

Last season, I didn’t care. This season, I care but I am trying not to start smoking again. If it’s not fans on x Random Messageboard gettin’ all bipolar, it’s the team choking a gods-damned tie in Hogtown.

HOW THE HELLS DO YOU CHOKE A TIE?!

*sigh*

So, some highlights from last night:

Borer = keeper

Ladd and Cole get a stay of execution. Good to see Sergei the Keebler Elf finally get on teh scoreboard this season. I only fault the Cam and Mike Show for two of those goals.

AND THEN THERE IS OUR DEFENCE:

Dennis? Ich hab’ dich lieb, but if we get the chance to get somebody better for you then you gotta go.
Timmay, dunno what your issue has been the last few games but the flu only lasts but so long yanno?
Frankie? I’ll take the Dread Master over him.
Wes is doing the best he can.
Commodore? Package him up with Atlanta Frankie and see if we can bribe the Avs into parting with Liles.

And for the painful part: 

Something is seriously physically wrong with the Warchief, I don’t think that it’s the flu, and I am now convinced that he suffers from Hedicanitis because he’s being a selfish bastard by not being up-front with people or teh org about what his issue is. Gods it hurt to say that.

This team is killin’ me here. When I’d rather watch CSI reruns on Spike than watch a ‘Canes game?  That’s saying some shit right there.

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING: I expect that Dwayne Klessel will have Yet Another Staal-To-$TEAM Rumour<tm> up by this afternoon–but really?  Unless it’s for like Ovechkin or somebody else like that, Staal won’t go anywhere. He is The Chosen One, there is no way that JimR will get rid of him unless it’s for some absolutely ridiculous return coming our way. Just sayin’.

(p.s. Dammit Thrashers, why did you have to stop at 5 goals last night?!)

13
Dec

And Another Thing!

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: Canes-specific and WHAT THE HELL MAN?!

OK, what the effin’eff is going on with the Hurricanes?

It’s always at times like this when I wish most for season tickets, because I have this insane need to know what makes things tick–especially when they’re broken. I want to know what’s going on, I want to find out where things are going wrong, and (in the case of the Hurricanes) I want to get a feel for the general mood on the ice–and it’s pretty hard to do that just through a TV screen.

So, what to do?  Realistically, our only tradebait is Erik Cole–and he’s not going to go cheap. Some idiot wants Stillman to go, but I don’t see that happening because of that lovely little NTC that JimR doled out to (him) all the vets like Xmas prezzies. Commodore?  Meh. Trading him would be like trading a spare part.

Anyone who seriously suggests trading the Warchief will die horribly.

Rosie?  Man, Rosie Rosie Rosie…I love him and would miss him terribly, but if trading him meant that we could shore up our defense I’d do it.

Ladd won’t go anywhere unless it was some egregious blockbuster that was heavily tilted in our favour–no way would JimR trade away somebody that he drafted at the RBC and with such great fanfare, unless he wound up being Jeff O’Neill 2.0 or something.

One guy suggested stripping the Warchief of the C, which actually made me laugh.  Did this guy clamour for Ron Francis to be stripped of his captaincy during the Season From Hell?  No?  Then what’s changed here?

All we know is that something is broken, and it needs to be fixed tout suite.

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