Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

DeCock: Sean Hill popped for 20 games for violating the NHL’s substance abuse policy.

Daaaaaaamn!  See, this is what happens when I have to work all the time–I miss stuff like this until strange hours when I finally get home.

So, I’m now left to wonder if Hilly broke his brain at the same time he broke his face, way back in the Greensboro days.

According to the talking heads on XM, this suspension wasn’t a sudden thing–it had been a while in coming, and Hilly had been appealing and appealing and appealing. With his appeals finally exhausted, all that was left was to announce the suspension–and just in time for the Sabres to eliminate the Isles tonight.

(Guess the Sabres got lucky, huh? /rolleyes)

Moving right along: The Nashville Predators got bounced by the San Jose Sharks tonight, in a result that mirrored their series from last season.

I think that Uncle Dave needs to finally look at replacing Barry Trotz as coach. I like Trotz, I think he’s done a good job getting the team off the ground–but he just can’t seem to get them to the next level, even though the team has gotten progressively better with each season in the Music City. For the Preds to successfully build a consistently strong fanbase, they need to have somebody behind the bench that can get the team out of the first round of the playoffs. Long-term success for the Predators has to be measured in playoff-round advancement (as it was for the Hurricanes), not in “just getting there”.

And the Ducks’ series with the Wild took an interesting twist during last night’s game 5 (which the Ducks won to send the Wild to the golf course) when a fight broke out during warm-ups. Expect suspensions from that one soon (yeah as if).

Well.

This season’s playoff whipping boy is, apparently, none other than the Nashville Predators–because Alexander Radulov got suspended (and rightly so) for a hit that even most Preds fans on the net agree was totally unnecessary, and because Scott Hartnell got a game misconduct in Game 1 for laying out Jonathan Cheechoo (a hit that I personally think was pretty foolish).

All of a sudden, the Predators are a bunch of dirty no-good thugs, Nashville doesn’t deserve a team, their fans are morons….

Oh wait, various fuckheads on the Net have been saying those last two things for ages. FlyersTV Comcast OLN Versus has been harping on the first one, however, and making the Sharks out to be innocent martyrs.

How conveniently we forget that the Sharks are not nearly so innocent as Clement Clement Hands of Cement and his little friends would have us believe. At least the Preds didn’t do the double-team thing right off the faceoff in the last five minutes of the game. But since the Preds are south of the Mason-Dixon Line, I guess it’s fashionable to bash them left right and center (and, if you’re a Wings fan, to make fat jokes and drop redneck smack on anyone who dares defend them–I’m betting that if the Wings get punted again, at least a few of ‘em will be hopping on the Sabres bus so they can hang with kindred spirits).

The more things change….

Another weekend in the NHL, and another couple hits to the head.

Let’s go to the videotape.

People’s Exhibit A: Feeling invulnerable after getting what amounts to no suspension for his elbow on Tomas Kaberle, Cam Janssen decides to launch an elbow at Chad LaRose’s head in retaliation for little Rosie hanging two goals on whiny bitch Marty Brodeur and helping chase Brodeur from the net in yesterday’s 7-1 Romp in the Swamp.

People’s Exhibit B: Jordin Tootoo lays out Mike Modano fair and square (and gets slashed for it–with, of course, no call–by Modano), then does the foolish thing and turns to sucker-punch Stephane Robidas and lay him flat out on the ice at the Litter Box. I understand defending oneself, I really do–but there’s a very fine line between self defense and a sucker-punch, and Toots crossed that line.

Be that as it may:

This shit has got to stop. I don’t give a tinker’s damn what some knuckledragger thinks about crap like this. Nobody–and I mean nobody–deserves that. This isn’t part of “The Code”. This isn’t part of “hard-hitting hockey”. This is complete and utter bulldada, it’s a danger to the health of the players, it’s a complete and utter lack of respect, it’s been allowed to go on for far too long, and Clownshoe Colin Campbell needs to do one of two things:

1) Step up to the plate and start levying some meaningful suspensions and fines on a consistent basis any time a hit gets delivered to a player’s head–whether that player is a first-liner or an ECHL callup.

2) Step aside and let somebody come in who has the bollocks to step up and do 1).

That’s the way it’s gotta be.

I got home from work about half an hour ago, and was greeted by the above link.

What I saw made me pretty ill–and this is nothing new for Chris Simon, either. He pulled the same kind of shit on little Sami Kapanen a few years back (when Sami still wore the Sightless Eye), but of course nobody cared because 1) Sami was just a dirty Hurricane at the time and 2) it was preseason.

Pattern of behaviour, hello?

If Simon gets any kind of suspension that lasts more than three games, I’ll be surprised.

The Instigator Rule in action, kids.

A: When you lead with the shoulder.

We’ve all seen the video and read the reports (and a few message board posts, and a few other blog posts), so we know what happened. On a night when Hall of Fame cheapshot artist Scott Stevens was in the Swamp, Devils thug Cam Janssen decided to line up Maple Leafs defenseman Tomas Kaberle behind the play and level him with a Stevens-style “lead with the shoulder, leave your feet, and follow through with the elbow” hit.

Let’s go to the videotape.

As you can see, Kaberle did not have the puck–it having left his stick a full second before (as opposed to the Neil hit on Briere–which, though iffy, was close enough to the play to be considered a late-stage part of the play*). Janssen left his feet when delivering his check, and you see the elbow come up for the follow-through. Gee, I wonder: where have we seen stuff like this before? At least the dirty little shitbag didn’t stand over the guy gloating.

What galls me is this:

1) No penalty, even though there were officials looking RIGHT THE HELL AT THE HIT. Let’s hear it for referee incompetence! *I* could make a better referee than 90% of the current crop in the NHL….and I can’t even skate!

I quote from Rule 47: Charging (a penalty that never seems to get called, even when it needs to be–like the other night):

Charging shall mean the actions of a player who, as a result of distance traveled, shall violently check an opponent in any manner. A “Charge” may be the result of a check into the boards, into the goal frame or in open ice.

1. A minor or major penalty shall be imposed on a player who skates or jumps into, or charges an opponent in any manner.
2. When a major penalty is imposed under this Rule for a foul resulting in an injury to the face or head of an opponent, a game misconduct shall be imposed, and an automatic fine of one hundred dollars ($100).

Yeah, hello? Some gutless puke lines up a guy behind the play to take him out with a 100-point shoulder-and-elbow combo, and leaves his feet while doing it (for the Devils fans reading-impaired: That’s called “jumping into somebody”)…and there’s no penalty? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Do these guys even read their own damn rulebook?

No wonder the NHL is seen as clownshoes by non-fans–the officials are a bunch of Keystone Kops who are too busy tripping over their skatelaces and showing off their leet non-reffing skillz for the fans that they can’t be bothered to actually enforce the blasted rules.

2) A measly 3-game suspension. Is the “3″ button the only button that Clownshoe Colin knows how to push? Not that I’m still irate over Erik Cole’s broken neck or anything, but hello? WTF was that, Colin? A chicken-bone for the dog? What would it have been if Kaberle’s neck had been broken–five games? Four and a required viewing of a video about workplace injuries?

It’s garbage like this that leaves the NHL relegated to being the fifth of the Big Four Sports–and I don’t see it getting any better while fuckheads like Clownshoe Colin and Gary the Magical Talking Ass are in charge.

(BTW Leafs fans, don’t be surprised at your team’s non-response to this. It’s one of the hallmarks of a Mo-coached team.)

Babs tells the org to get stuffed. Org tells Babs to go to his room and think about what he’s done.

I just love waking up to crap like this, I really do.

In a nutshell: Anton Babchuk was asked to report to Albany of the AHL now that Frankie’s back–it was a temporary move, and done only because somebody had to be sent down and Babs was the only one of our guys not subject to waivers.

“He wants to think about it.”

What is there to think about? “Dude, spend a little time in Albany until we get somebody else traded. It’s not permanent.” What’s so hard about that? Even Babs with his so-so (at best) English skills should be able to understand that. And then there’s this little gem, courtesy of the N&O’s ‘Canes blog:

Jay Grossman, Anton Babchuk’s agent, said his client doesn’t feel he’s a minor-league player and would prefer the Hurricanes trade him to another NHL team.

Hurricanes general manager Jim Rutherford suspended Babchuk on Wednesday after the 22-year-old defenseman refused to report to Albany (AHL) when the Canes sent him down to clear a spot for Frantisek Kaberle on Tuesday.

“After playing well and for a good part of the season, especially at the beginning, in the top four, playing more than 20 minutes a night, he doesn’t feel he’s a minor-league player,” Grossman said. “I know there’s interest out there and teams that view it the same way. At the same time, we understand the prediciment Jim faces. We’ve been communicating regarding that and we’ll see what happens.”

Babchuk appeared in 51 of Carolina’s first 55 games, and his 14 points are second only to Mike Commodore among Carolina defensemen.

How many teams are going to ask about the kid, given this little stunt? Come on Jay, surely you’re smarter than that you little slimeball. And are you aware that this stunt has pretty much screwed the ‘Canes over by ruining whatever trade value that Babs had? And after the org moved the heavens and the earth to get the kid’s name on the Cup too. Classy.
“We had to do it, it’s the rules.”

If the kid stays, it’ll be because the coaches want him to stay or because Ron Francis advises JimR not to trade him.

Sheesh.