So a while back, I chummed the waters on Kukla’s Korner by quipping that new NHL Disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan would let the Red Wings off easy, because he used to play for them and won Cups with them. Predictably, I got a few of the Juggalos up in a tizzy.
Ha ha, very funny, I trolled the Juggalos (which, let’s be honest, isn’t much of an accomplishment given that they’re collectively pretty dim bulbs, and therefore ridiculously easy to troll). But let’s be real here. Let’s set aside the team bias and get serious about something:
Brendan Shanahan’s apparently decided that he’s going to try to be what Clownshoe Colin wasn’t: somebody who actually lays down the freakin’ law. Somebody who LARTs the lusers, as it were. And he’s going to show what the player did to deserve the LARTing with
Oh wait, not science. Video. He’s going to do it with video. Like this one here.
People’s Exhibit A, your honour: Serial recidivist Jody Shelley gets the rest of preseason and five regular-season games for intent to injure. Shanahan explains why, and clearly states that Shelley’s record as a career recidivist factored into the decision.
General consensus is that Shanahan is doing a good job–and I’ll agree that he’s trying. But in my opinion dudeman doesn’t go far enough, especially if he’s trying to send a message to players that engage in cheap shots and try to dish out season-ending (if not career-ending, in the case of Marc Savard) injuries.
He’s got to exercise the Nuclear Option.
Preseason is nothing when it comes to a suspension–I’d have given Shelley the first 15 games of the regular season at least. Why? He’s a career recidivist. Matt Cooke even so much as farts in another player’s direction, BAM! Go play in the KHL son, cos you are done in the NHL. Todd Bertuzzi tries anything (again)? SEEYA! My Golden Bitch? He needs to sit his ass down for a nice chunk of the season the next time he throws an elbow at somebody’s head or tries to take out somebody’s knees. Ovechkin? Same thing. Yes he’s skilled, yes he’s got personality in spades–hell, I LIKE him even though he drives me stark raving mad six times a season–but if you throw cheap shots, Ovie, it’s time for you to go hang out with GMGM in the press box for a while. Hell, any Hurricane that gives out a cheap shot and gets a suspension needs to get a serious suspension just like anyone else. I mean, I’m just sayin’.
The NHLPA wants to grievance it? Let them file a grievance. Seriously, let them cry! There has to be a very clear and very decisive message sent that deliberately injuring another player is UNACCEPTABLE–and giving out heavy suspension action (with accompanying financial hit to the player) is the only way that it’s going to happen.
“I didn’t see anything. Did you see anything? That video doesn’t prove anything.” — Colin Campbell
Ironic, really. Not even a week after some jackwagon in London, ON threw a banana peel at Pflyers forward Wayne Simmonds, the man’s back in the news–and this time for something not very sympathetic.
Of course, it’s also ironic that I defend Sean Avery, given the wonderfully misogynist things he’s said in the past about an ex-girlfriend, his general on-ice jackassery (like the Morris Dance he did in front of Marty Brodeur during a playoff game in 2007), and my own “Sean Avery is gay” post category (which is there because, seriously, dudeman needs to come out the damn closet already).
The scenario: Rangers/Pflyers preseason game, in Philly. Sean Avery claims that Simmonds called him a “faggot”, which is considered an anti-gay slur. It’s captured on video, and yet Clownshoe Colin–the same guy who, in an e-mail that was publicized in November 2010, called Marc Savard a “whiner” and a “little fake-artist”, and then refused to even so much as give a suspension after Savard sustained a possible career-ending concussion–is saying “I didn’t see anything happen, so I won’t do anything.”
That shit ain’t cool, kids. Racism and homophobia are doubleplusuncool, and any so-called “fan” who thinks they’re OK has rocks in his head, in my opinion.
Come at me, bro!
….that there is no Vast Anti-Hurricanes Conspiracy in the ECF:
Ryan Bayda gets lucky, only fined for cheap high-stick to Kris Letang’s grill — WRALSportsFan.com
Yeah fellow Caniacs, you heard me. My Man Ryan Bayda, the dude that I called as a Hurricanes draft pick in ’01, got lucky. He should have been suspended. Scott Walker should have been suspended for his antics in Game 5 of the ECSF–though in fairness, I suspect that the reason he didn’t get suspendered is because AWard just stood there and deliberately took the punch, hoping to draw the penalty.
Either way, they were both cheap. Whether to a lesser or greater degree, they were both just as cheap as Matt Cooke’s knee-on-knee hit on Erik Cole and they both deserved to get LARTed for it.
Game 3 tomorrow night at the RBC–I’ll be camping the internet-radio and listening to ChuckandtheletterK as usual.
OK, now you’ve all gone and done it. You’ve all gone and pissed me right the hell off.
Hurricanes: HOW THE FRELL DO YOU BLOW A LEAD LIKE THAT?! I was ready to march down to the RBC Center and slap some people, starting with Paul “defensive shell” Maurice. Really–when you are up 3-0, you DON’T sit back and camp the lead, especially against a team whose top line has outscored yours by 10-1! You press the attack. You keep it moving. You DON’T camp your own zone and pray that the clock runs out before your lead does! Even I know that, and I’m not a coach!
ATTN CHAIRMAN MO: THE DEFENSIVE SHELL SUCKS. STOP USING IT.
And then we have the game-winning goal, which has all and sundry Devils fans (and Marty Brodeur) crying and whining “WAAAAAAAH INTERFERENCE WAAAAAAAH!” Yeah, I really loved turning on Hockey This Morning on XM and hearing that tool Charles from Texas talking about how “Bro-DURR” was interfered with when the video shows that the contact was incidental AND that Brodeur was outside the crease by two and a half frellin’ feet! This is NOT Republican Rome, and Martin Brodeur is NOT one of the Plebeian Tribunes. He is not inviolate, people. No goalie is inviolate when he leaves his crease. Get over it. Now our third goal? OK, there you could make a very compelling case for interference. But the game-winner? That’s just sour grapes, right there.
MEMO TO DEVILS FANS AND CHICO RESCH: THERE WAS NO FRELLING INTERFERENCE. NOBODY OUTSIDE OF YOUR LITTLE BOX AGREES WITH YOU, WHICH SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETIHNG. WATCH THE VIDEO INSTEAD OF CRYING.
My final dose of ire is directed at the classless bags of mostly ass that decided to embarrass me by throwing crap at Brodeur after the game. What the hell were you morons thinking?! Were you thinking? By what frakking measure is it acceptable to throw things at an opposing player? I wouldn’t even condone acting like that toward the Detroit gods-damned Red Wings–AND I HATE THEM! I would love to see one of you drooling garbage-chucking idiots try to justify to me how it is acceptable to throw things at an opposing player as he leaves the ice. Really. And try to do it without calling me a puckbunny or telling me I don’t know anything about hockey (thus exposing yourself as a complete know-nothing).
And, in closing, I just want to say thank you to Mike Keenan for trading Roberto Luongo OUT of the Southeast Division. Sorry, Blues fans.
That’s what I am thinking of the Penguins after last night’s debacle in the Nexus of Evil. Just freakin’ pathetic.
If this series doesn’t end in a sweep, I will be surprised. Hells, at least the ’02 Hurricanes (a team full of “scrubs, has-beens, and career minor-leaguers” was what one embittered Leafs fan called them) managed to make a series of it. And don’t let the 4-1 series result fool you, either: The only game the Hurricanes weren’t really “in” was Game 4–and even then they fought tooth and nail. They at least died with their boots on.
The Penguins, on the other hand, seem to just be playing like they’re just there to grab some saganaki down in Greektown. There are several players I’d like to punch in the face right now.
I’d like to punch Rob Scuderi in the face for being out of position last night and getting accidentally clocked in the grill by his own teammate.
I’d like to punch Hal Gill in the face for accidentally clocking his own teammate in the grill.
I’d like to punch Gary Roberts in the face for his punk-ass cheap shot (and his even more punk-ass excuse) on Johan Franzen.
I’d like to punch Johan Franzen in the face for playing the “oh, it was my fault” card–but I can wait until he’s officially over his concussion.
I’d like to punch the rest of the Unspeakables in the face, just because it would be very satisfying to take shots at a team that is The Focus of Evil In The Hockey World.
I’d like to punch Michel Therrien in the face for being the same “boo hoo, the refs are out to get us, boo hoo” numbnut that he was in Montreal after the Molson Miracle.
I’d like to punch Brooks Orpik in the face on general principle, and while wearing an Erik Cole jersey. You think he could get the puck without boarding somebody?
And I’d like to punch Sidney Crosby in the face because he’s overexposed, overhyped, and Ovechkin is better–and if he had a better goaltender and better guys around him, he’d prove it.
Game 3 is tomorrow in Pittsburgh. Hopefully the Pens wake up and pull their heads out their asses so that they can make this the first truly exciting series since the first round. Their opponent deserves better than what they’re getting right now.
I know, the World Championships are like the NIT of hockey–if you don’t make the playoffs or your team gets bounced, you play for your country in the World Championships with guys from your homeland that didn’t make it into (or are retired from) the NHL.
The picture with the article tells the story–Nicky Wallin left his feet and just NAILED Switzerland’s Roman Wick against the glass. Wick was left with a concussion and had amnesia for ten minutes afterward–if he plays before the SEHL starts play again in the fall, I will be surprised.
I like a hard hit and Nicky can deliver on that, but that was just overkill right there. He totally deserved that suspension for being an idiot, and he should consider himself lucky that he wasn’t expelled from the tournament entirely.
Hope Wick will be OK.
The one year I take only the most peripheral of interest in the ASG weekend, Eric Staal wins the Whalercanes’ first-ever MVP honours. According to what little I saw on Versus, the game was actually fun to watch–I did see Ovechkin’s attempt at a “trick shot”, though. OK, and I saw Nabokov keep messing up Martin St. Louis’ attempts to be cute with an occasional pokecheck. That was actually pretty funny. And I also felt the disturbance in the force that was the collective angst of Islanders Nation when DiPietro was caught on audio saying “FUCK! My hip!” 15 years, huh? Egad.
Former Carolina Hurricanes’ prospect Nate Hagemo is currently sitting in the Hennepin County lockup on drug charges after getting busted with paraphernalia in a low-rent part of Minneapolis. From this mugshot here, I am betting that he’s a tweaker–which is not a good thing. The ‘Canes helped him once before when he had issues with addiction, but now? He’s on his own, and his “comeback” attempt is pretty much hosed.
Shortly before the weekend, Luke DeCock made a very good argument for the Triangle finally getting the ASG. The NHL made a promise to us some years ago, and they have yet to deliver on it while we’ve been busting our asses to do whatever it takes to get the ASG in our town–including busting ass to get to 12,309 season tickets before the start of the 2001-2002 season (whether the numbers were fudged by people no longer with the org or not is another issue–but the League agreed that the effort was sufficient and vowed to deliver on their end of the bargain…which, of course, never happened). Want five-star hotel accomodations? We got it (wish I could afford to spend the night there). Want stuff to do? We got it. We even have a pretty good hockey team here. C’mon Gary, it’s time to finally man up and deliver on that oath.
Tomorrow the Hurricanes take on the Rangers at the RBC. I’ll be heading right over from work, which should be fun. “Hello RBC parkbots, here’s $8 so that you don’t call somebody to tow my car that’s been parked there since 9 AM.”
No, I didn’t watch CSI instead of the game tonight. I fell asleep on the couch with the game on–and had this nightmare that Antoine Vermette laughingly dug my heart out of my chest with his stick and fed it to a raven wearing a Sens #7 jersey.
I woke up, the game was over, and I went “awwww man”. Then I remembered “hey wait a minute! I have a DVR and it recorded the game! Duh AQ.” So I hit the “Play From Beginning” button, and realized that it wasn’t a nightmare after all.
There were exactly TWO highlights (unless of course you’re a Sens fan):
1) Tim Gleason batting the puck out of the air and preventing what would have been a 6-1 game at the end.
2) Ray Whitney scoring on the powerless play.
That’s IT. It didn’t get so bad as seven guys in the penalty box together, but it was close–and the Hurricanes have their first 4-game losing streak since the Season From Hell. When Frankie Kaberle hung Cam out to dry on how many goals? I was through.
I watched the whole game–twice–in a definite display of Train Wreck Syndrome. My husband said “Didn’t you just watch this? Why are you subjecting yourself to it again?” And all I could say to that was “It’s like seeing a fat man in a ‘nanner-hammock–I just can’t help but stare while my brain screams in torment.”
And the best part? I get to do it all over again Friday night when the Oilers play us. Yay.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
No, I didn’t watch last night. I listened to ChuckandtheletterK. It was great until the third period when the aliens showed up and beamed the Hurricanes out of the RBC. Somewhere, Tommy the Usenet BadAss is spooging himself with glee. My sister, OTOH, called me and said “Uhhh…AQ? What the hell was that nonsense that your team just pulled?”
“Well,” I said, “We choked. We had y’all on the ropes, and choked it like the Boston Strangler.”
Points to Tim Conboy for stepping up to the plate. An ice pack or three for the bruises that Scott Parker left on your grill, dude. And Commodore? WTF was that, defending against your own damn teammate? Seriously, I’m asking here.
Frankie Kaberle needs to go. He needs to go posthaste. Hells, trade him to the Rangers for Malik. Sure, Harry’s not having that hot a season–but even the Dread Master can play defence despite the occasional braincramp! And people picking on Samsonov for not scoring? Fuck off. What, you expected him to score eleventy-billion goals in the three (so far) games that he’s had with us? That’s not enough of a statistical sample to go on, and I’m trying to keep each team separate. Capisce?
The night was supposed to be cool–the Warchief gets #1100, the ‘Canes win and shut up this trolltard (whose nick shall not be revealed to be wlcinac919) that loves to post on TSB about how pathetic the Hurricanes are and how great the Avs are, and everything gets better from here. Instead, we’re still mired in November and December with little to no end in sight.
I’ll say it now–I don’t want to make the playoffs, if it means that we’ll be third-by-default. Third on points, second or first on points…but not third-by-default. That’s settling, and I refuse to settle.
In the midst of all the hubbub last night, those of us who couldn’t make the game and don’t have Centre Ice missed this gem:
It’s a don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it move, but Craig Adams high-sticked Alexander Steen…and then followed it up with a bonk on Steen’s head with the butt-end of his stick.
He got a 2-minute high sticking penalty, but nothing else–until today, when he got slapped with just as many games as Randy Jones got for almost ending Patrice Bergeron’s career.
Do whatnow? OK, I can see wanting to send a message on hits to the head–but how is this the equivalent of lining up a dude and plowing his face into the boards at speed, ending his season and putting the rest of his career in question?
A game and a hefty fine, sure. CAdams was totally in the wrong and deserved to get a good swift kick in the ass. But equivocating it with a deliberate attempt to injure is complete codswallop.
Good job, Clownshoe Colin.
I hate making these posts, but what’s right is right amirite?
The Hurricanes were getting pwnt by the Sens last night (and rightly so–any team that comes out and plays that slacktastically deserves to have its headed handed to it). Scott “Remo Williams” Walker gets tangled up with Martin Gerber (NO, I don’t think Remo ran him despite what the homers at TSN say in that clip) at around :41 into the second.
Mike Fisher went off and got into a brawl with Walker, who foolishly administered a headbutt as the linesmen stepped in to separate the combatants.
Way to go, shithead. Remo, what the hell was going through your thick head right then? What the hell made you think that it was a good idea to do that? Yeah, the headbutt was rather mild–but a headbutt is still a headbutt, it’s still dirty, it’s still a hit to the head (which the league has been making noise about cracking down on, though I have my doubts) and I hope your ass gets suspended for it you big goob.
Hope you’re proud of yourself.
OK, this every-other crap has got to stop. Mind you, Friday’s win over the Capitals was no great shakes either–I’ll take that two points thank you kindly, but really. A little consistency would be good. Hells, the October ‘Canes would be good.
I don’t know what’s more frustrating to me, our sputtering power play or the toolbags IN OUR OWN FANBASE that are pissing and moaning that they’ve lost respect for Lavi or that the team sucks or that half the team needs to be traded RIGHT NOW.
Of course, these are the same idiots that piss and whine when we lose, and then turn around and say “YEAH GO TEAM GO WOOOO” when we win. So whatever.
The Hurricanes aren’t hitting anymore–except for Dennis, und Herzlichen Dank für ihn. OK, and Timmay too. Almost forgot him. But it’s like everyone else has suddenly decided to take a powder or something, and it makes me tear my hair out in frustration because I know what’s wrong, and I know that the team must know what’s wrong, but they’re not doing anything about it. They’re not skating. They’re trying to go for the cute pass and the “perfect” shot and all this other crap. They’re better than that. They know that, I know that, everyone except the biggest idiots from X Random Messageboard knows that.
But until knowledge translates into action, this team is going to keep sputtering and flaking out and driving me even more insane than I already am. Maybe this 8-1 beatdown will wind up being what the doctor ordered.
I sat down to watch the Sens and Your Carolina Hurricanes last night–the Sens were on a hot streak, and the ‘Canes were still feeling their oats (and coming off a game with the Leafs).
Haven’t we seen this before?
Anyway, the star of the game was definitely little Chad LaRose. Rosie was all over the place, getting three assists and drawing some key penalties. Tripp was his usual insane self, we had the Ray Mojo during warmups, and all was right with the world.
Well, for me anyway.
And, of course, everyone is piling on Jesse Boulerice today–my favorite? Bringing up a 10-year old incident as if it’s a lifelong pattern of behaviour. Am I defending Jesse’s act of gross stupidity? Of course not–his career is more than likely over, as it damn well should be. What he did was inexcusable (and he recognizes that, now that the adrenalin has worn off), and anyone who attempts to defend it even peripherally (as one Flyers fan did in Mirtle’s commentbox) is a complete and total moron.
But please–it’s not as if he’s a convicted rapist and career recidivist (whose dirtbaggery is a lifelong pattern of behaviour). He’s a guy who has done two idiotic things that will hang over his head for the rest of his life, and he knows it and is prepared to live with it rather than make excuses. I can respect that, because he’s not playing “blame the victim”. So can we please stop treating the guy like he’s some kind of ogre? Two incidents / ten years = dumbass (≠ outlaw)1.
I’m just sayin’.
As for the Flyers….don’t be surprised if we see more of this kind of dirty play from them this season–because, of course, if you can’t beat ‘em then you might as well injure ‘em amirite? Clearly, the Flyers have to send a message that they “won’t be pushed around”, and if that means that people wind up getting put on the IR or sent to the hospital then clearly that’s just what’s going to have to happen.
See AQ. See AQ be completely and totally unimpressed by the size of the Flyers’ e-peen.
Next up for the ‘Canes: Saturday night v. the Godless Habominations at the Bell Centre. Here’s hoping we spoil the hell out of their home opener.
1: Math isn’t my specialty, so I might have gotten that notation wrong. I was going for “Two incidents in ten years makes him a dumbass, not an outlaw.”
Didn’t you learn anything from ten years ago (well, nine years ago)? Enjoy your suspension, and be grateful that your outburst didn’t cause the guy grievous injury.
Not the way I wanted to start the work day.
Ex-Hurricane and fan favorite Jesse Boulerice has come full circle, trying out for a spot on the Philadelphia Flyers–and what a job he’s done so far!
That’s Cam Janssen, crying like the noob that he is because he separated a shoulder in his second fight with the Mark XXXVI Bolo. The excuse the Devils are using for their Chief Elbowchucker getting pwned like the punk-ass bitch that he is? “The jerseys tear real easy”.
Cry more, noobs. Just cos they’re lighter, that doesn’t mean that they’re rip-stop. Duh.
Some induhvidual by the name of K. D. Wade has written a letter to the News and Observer decrying the fact that the Hurricanes haven’t done anything to Eric Staal in the wake of his arrest other than say “He wasn’t the one hassling motorists and he was asleep when the cops came to kick his group out, so to us it’s a non-issue”.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Citizen Wade for his letter.
Apparently, since Eric Staal was asleep when the police arrived to toss his noisy group from his hotel, and since he was part of a group that was arrested by a couple of bored Barney Fifes when a handful of them started acting the fool and hollering at passing cars as they were walking down the road, he needs to be IMMEDIATELY suspended by the Hurricanes and the NHL lest the message be sent to young people that it’s OK to drink and be an idiot.
Because of course, being walking along the side of the road while drunk is exactly like shooting steroids to hit lots of home runs, running dogfighting rings, and generally living the thug life. And clearly, no young people in this community have parents to tell them that it’s not cool to have a few beers and then just go to bed. I wonder, would Citizen Wade have preferred that the group got behind the wheel? I guess that would be better than walking down the road after being tossed from a resort hotel because of a couple of drunken morons that wouldn’t listen to instructions while their host was asleep in bed, hmm?
Be that as it may; I would like to thank Citizen Wade for publicly offering me his seat at the RBC Center this season–I’ll be sure put it to good use, attending more games this season than Citizen Wade has likely attended the entire time the Hurricanes have been in Raleigh. I’m sure that while I’m happily cheering for my beloved Hurricanes, Citizen Wade will be “more constructively” spending his time polishing the saddle on his high horse.
I just hope he doesn’t pass out and fall off the ladder–I hear that the air is a little rare up there.
WELL! I go to work for the evening, and look what I miss.
Eric Staal spends the night in der Kerke after bachelor bacchanal gets out of hand.
Is it horrible earth-shattering stuff? No.
Because everyone is still breathing and in one piece. No property was damaged (that we know of at this time), no persons were injured (that we know of at this time), and nobody was drunk and behind the wheel (that we know of at this time). And Eric and his brothers were asleep when the coppers showed up to boot ‘em, so there you go.
And nobody was running a dogfighting ring, either.
ON THE OTHER HAND, it was still pretty gods-damned foolish to stop at the side of the highway and start hassling passing motorists when the local constabulary is already annoyed with them, alcohol or no alcohol. Thankfully nobody was hurt. But what do I think should happen? Nothing.
That’s right: nothing. I feel that no punishment should be meted out to Eric Staal by the Hurricanes. Dudeman and his bros were ASLEEP when the cops showed up to toss the lot of ‘em. Meh. That’s it–just…meh.
I can’t even be bothered to give Eric a cute nickname like “Punkin Drublic” or something–though really, I find myself picturing Jordan Staal and Sidney Crosby as Beavis and Butt-head.
*saves that one for future comedic reference*
Would this make Coach Therrien Mr. Buzzcut? Just curious.