25 Feb 2008 @ 12:43 PM 

So this Saturday I had to watch the Caps-Canes barnburner on teh t00b–which robbed me of these choice comedic moments:

Olaf Kolzig throwing a little tantrum and breaking his stick after the Hurricanes’ fourth goal.

The goal horn at the RBC blowing a lung.

The Caps fans that bused in going home quietly. (I kid because I love, guys–srsly!)

A few drunk members of our nation’s military trying to re-enact the USO scene from “Apocalypse Now” with several members of the Storm Squad.

Well OK, that last one wasn’t comedic so much as pathetic, but you get the idea.  The Hurricanes have been playing rather well since the Warchief went down–which apparently puzzles such luminaries (ha ha) as EJ Hradek, but doesn’t surprise me. I’d had a feeling that various guys (like Eric Staal) would step their games up, and I was right. I am right.

So tomorrow the Hurricanes face the Devils for the fourth (and last) time this season. The Devils let the Capitals get a point yesterday, which didn’t please me in the least. Hopefully they give us two points tomorrow night. Just sayin’.

 16 Feb 2008 @ 11:24 PM 

What a week:

My computer falls victim to the Great Collapsing Table Disaster.

I get smacked down hard by the flu.

The Warchief (well, his knee) falls victim to shithappensitis–contrary to what some foolio on on X Random Messageboard is positing–and all the talking heads pronounce the season over.

The Hurricanes win three straight–with the third game taking place ~2h after a State game–and effectively give the finger to the aforementioned talking heads. They’re not dead yet!

I’d say “cool”, but really only the last one is cool. The first three really suck.

Monday we’ll see if the ‘Canes can make it 4 in a row when they venture into the fetid swamps of The Garden State to take on the Devils.



 06 Feb 2008 @ 1:20 PM 

For those who listened to NHL Live today to hear Don and EJ goof on me, here is what I wrote from the depths of my server room:


If the only way the Hurricanes can make the playoffs is to be third-by-default, then I don’t want them to make the playoffs at all. Period.

2004 and 2006 were supposed to be the new paradigm for the rest of the Southeast Division to live up to. The new “no more Southleast” idea was supposed to be the banner that the Hurricanes would rally around as they marched out of the depths of slack-ass mediocrity.

What we have here now? It wasn’t supposed to happen. Our defense wasn’t supposed to suck, our offense wasn’t supposed to just go poof after October ended, and 2007 was supposed to become a quickly fading memory as the Hurricanes went on another deep playoff run. It was supposed to be better. It was supposed to be a corner-turning, the proverbial dawn of a new day, but instead the Hurricanes are once again stuck at the light with a tank full of fumes and falling toward another 2002-2003 style Season From Hell.

And the killer for me? I see no urgency. I get no “oh crap, we gotta get on it” vibe.

If that’s all that the Hurricanes want to do–rest on old laurels–then I hope they never make the playoffs again.

It hurts me in my heart to say that, but it’s time for some serious toughlove on the part of this fan.

Sorry for writing instead of calling, but I’m stuck in a server room with no phone at the moment.



For the record: The year the Hurricanes won the Cup, they were second in the East–by ONE point. The third seed (who was third-by-default) was New Jersey with 101 points. The Sabres were third-on-points with 110.

Also: It’s the settling for third-by-default that leads to people bashing the Southeast. Nevermind that the Central is the weakest division in the NHL, with the Red Wings feasting on all their conference rivals (except for Chicago)–people habitually expect the Southeast Division to be the mediocre division, largely because they are mediocre. Or rather, because they tend to play like it. And the fans just settle for it. “Oh, third seed is good enough.”

Screw that. Go hard or go freaking home already. Don’t freaking settle.

 03 Feb 2008 @ 5:28 AM 

Luke DeCock on last night’s fiasco–and since he’s saying what I’m thinking, I’ll let him do the talking today.

Posted By: The Acid Queen
Last Edit: 03 Feb 2008 @ 05:28 AM

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 22 Jan 2008 @ 1:40 PM 

The Toronto Maple Leafs have finally fired their GM. — TSN I am amazed that it took them this long, really. Of course, with Dick Peddie doing his best to screw things up at every turn, my amazement is admittedly minor. Word on the street is that Chairman Mo is next on the block, but I have it on pretty good authority that he’s signed another contract with Old Scratch and will be in power for a bit longer.In other news, the Hurricanes ride a two-game win streak into the second half of a home-and-home with the Islanders tonight. No TV for this one, so if you are not in the house to get your life-size Ray Whitney figurine you will have to listen to ChuckandtheletterK on teh radio.Now watch, because I blogged on a game day the ‘Canes will get their collective face pwned. It would be my luck. 

 19 Jan 2008 @ 6:08 AM 

Yeah, we won. (7-2?  Damn, why can’t we beat down like Atlanta or somebody like that?)

The team was much improved over Thursday night–though really, I don’t see how they could have been worse. Samsonov continues to impress as he has done since he got here, but I am still not 100% sold and will reserve final judgement until about the fourth game or so after the ASG.

I had a strange feeling about this game when Tripp was interviewing Ray Whitney during pre-game skate and I heard “The Rising” playing at the RBC (BTW, those of you who didn’t want to go because you’re bandwagon-hoppers who only support winners? You coulda offered me your seats. Just sayin’). It was like the Hurricanes were trying to recapture the mojo from 2006, and the aliens even obliged by bringing back Cup Run Frankie for the night. Thank you aliens!

The Oilers…oh man, oh man. I know none of their fans will ever believe me (not that I blame them), but I felt bad for them last night. Does MacT have pictures of Kevin Lowe or something, or is Lowe as insane as I think he is?  Why does that man still have a job after almost seven years of futility?  Did he inherit Chairman Mo’s contract with the devil or something?

The Hurricanes are off today, and play again on the Island come Monday–which should be fun. Let’s see of Joe, Lord of Evil decides to light ‘em up for old time’s sake.

Ah, who am I kidding?

 18 Jan 2008 @ 11:47 AM 

I’m drinking heavily until further notice–hey, at least I’m not smoking again!

Mind you, what I am drinking heavily is Diet Cherry Coke so…

This morning while on the way to work, I was thinking two things:

1) I wish I had headphones, so I can listen to NHL Live at work (and write in to bust EJ Hradek’s Bristolero bollocks on a daily basis for being a dumbass).

2) Being a fan of a team is like being in an abusive relationship sometimes. You keep getting yanked around and beaten down and humiliated and generally treated like ass, but you stick around because you love your abuser and cling to the belief that s/he will change. Of course, sports teams are far far easier to leave than abusive partners–for one, you just have to cancel your season tickets or stop attending games. For the other, you need to get a restraining order or completely drop out of sight with the help of friends and family.


This is Year Two of the Five Year Grace Period, so really I don’t feel like I should be complaining. But at the same time, I’d just like to not get beat down every night–or at least, I’d like even a whiff of effort. That way I can say “Well, at least we tried, yanno?” Y’know what I mean?

Tonight, the Hurricanes are going to host the Oilers for the first time since the day I quit smoking. Wow, how times have changed–I no longer work at a Stop-n-Rob, the Hurricanes are officially in the Season From Hell v2.0, and the Oilers are having goalie issues like the Hurricanes are…only not quite to the extent that the Hurricanes are. And by making a blogpost on a game day, I have ensured that the Hurricanes will lose their fifth straight–no need to thank me, Oilers fans. I’m sure that your thanks will come in the form of my bleeding severed head on a pike in front of the Warchief’s house by noon tomorrow.

(Hey, they gotta blame somebody when they lose, right?)

 18 Jan 2008 @ 1:40 AM 

No, I didn’t watch CSI instead of the game tonight. I fell asleep on the couch with the game on–and had this nightmare that Antoine Vermette laughingly dug my heart out of my chest with his stick and fed it to a raven wearing a Sens #7 jersey.

I woke up, the game was over, and I went “awwww man”.  Then I remembered “hey wait a minute!  I have a DVR and it recorded the game!  Duh AQ.” So I hit the “Play From Beginning” button, and realized that it wasn’t a nightmare after all.

There were exactly TWO highlights (unless of course you’re a Sens fan):

1) Tim Gleason batting the puck out of the air and preventing what would have been a 6-1 game at the end.

2) Ray Whitney scoring on the powerless play.

That’s IT. It didn’t get so bad as seven guys in the penalty box together, but it was close–and the Hurricanes have their first 4-game losing streak since the Season From Hell. When Frankie Kaberle hung Cam out to dry on how many goals?  I was through.

I watched the whole game–twice–in a definite display of Train Wreck Syndrome. My husband said “Didn’t you just watch this?  Why are you subjecting yourself to it again?” And all I could say to that was “It’s like seeing a fat man in a ‘nanner-hammock–I just can’t help but stare while my brain screams in torment.”

And the best part?  I get to do it all over again Friday night when the Oilers play us. Yay.

 17 Jan 2008 @ 9:55 AM 

The Hurricanes will be playing the Sens tonight at ScotiaBank Place–I am betting that one team will have a losing streak snapped, and that it won’t be the Hurricanes.

Dude, is it The Season From Hell again? Did I fall into a time-dilation warp somewhere or something?

Whatever. I’ll be in my Thursday Night Living Room watching the carnage, with CSI recording on teh DVR as usual.

Anyway–the N&O this morning has an argh-ticle about the Hurricanes’ issues. One line that struck me as funny was “Help is on the way”–which had me picturing Scott “Remo Williams” Walker as Mrs. Doubtfire and led to the explosion of my mind’s eye in a thermonuclear fireball because….damn.

Moving right along. In an interview on 850 teh Buzz, JimR mentioned that everything was being looked at, including coaching, which brings me to possibly the first truly salient point I’ve made all season:

I think Lavi is being kept on the shelf past his expiry date.

There, I said it. I am eternally grateful to Lavi for 2006, I really am. I also like how he turned the team around after the 8-year trainwreck that was Chairman Mo. But I’ve finally decided to give in to the nagging voice in the back of my subconscious that keeps telling me that Peter Laviolette is one of those coaches who has a distressingly short shelf-life and say “He doesn’t suck, but he’s got a shorter lifespan than a Nexus Six.” I mean, this is the longest coaching tenure he’s had with any team.

I think that JimR should try to find a way to have Lavi exit gracefully (as gracefully as a coach can exit anyway), and get new blood behind the bench. If it takes another season, so be it, but the Hurricanes need to find a replacement and fast, and they need to go outside the organization to find that replacement (like they did when they brought Lavi in).

Do I think that the players hate him? No. I don’t get that vibe. But I do think that his message has worn thin. I do think that he has lost the players in the locker room–including (perhaps especially) the Village Elders–and I do think that it’s time for him to move on.

Idiots and know-nothings can say what they want. Pundits and crazed Magyars can bag the goalies and blast the defence (not that the defence doesn’t deserve a little blasting) and whatever, but I think that change in this case needs to be effected at the top.

So, tonight we shall see what we shall see I guess.

 16 Jan 2008 @ 11:32 AM 

When I said in my previous post that I didn’t want the Hurricanes to win the SE if it meant that they’d be third-by-default, I wasn’t expecting the Atlanta Thrashers to take me seriously. But y’know?  I’m glad they did, because I was starting to get worried that a team that really doesn’t seem to give half a damn would actually make it into the playoffs.


Last season, I didn’t care. This season, I care but I am trying not to start smoking again. If it’s not fans on x Random Messageboard gettin’ all bipolar, it’s the team choking a gods-damned tie in Hogtown.



So, some highlights from last night:

Borer = keeper

Ladd and Cole get a stay of execution. Good to see Sergei the Keebler Elf finally get on teh scoreboard this season. I only fault the Cam and Mike Show for two of those goals.


Dennis? Ich hab’ dich lieb, but if we get the chance to get somebody better for you then you gotta go.
Timmay, dunno what your issue has been the last few games but the flu only lasts but so long yanno?
Frankie? I’ll take the Dread Master over him.
Wes is doing the best he can.
Commodore? Package him up with Atlanta Frankie and see if we can bribe the Avs into parting with Liles.

And for the painful part: 

Something is seriously physically wrong with the Warchief, I don’t think that it’s the flu, and I am now convinced that he suffers from Hedicanitis because he’s being a selfish bastard by not being up-front with people or teh org about what his issue is. Gods it hurt to say that.

This team is killin’ me here. When I’d rather watch CSI reruns on Spike than watch a ‘Canes game?  That’s saying some shit right there.

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING: I expect that Dwayne Klessel will have Yet Another Staal-To-$TEAM Rumour<tm> up by this afternoon–but really?  Unless it’s for like Ovechkin or somebody else like that, Staal won’t go anywhere. He is The Chosen One, there is no way that JimR will get rid of him unless it’s for some absolutely ridiculous return coming our way. Just sayin’.

(p.s. Dammit Thrashers, why did you have to stop at 5 goals last night?!)

 13 Jan 2008 @ 2:46 PM 


Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

No, I didn’t watch last night. I listened to ChuckandtheletterK. It was great until the third period when the aliens showed up and beamed the Hurricanes out of the RBC. Somewhere, Tommy the Usenet BadAss is spooging himself with glee. My sister, OTOH, called me and said “Uhhh…AQ?  What the hell was that nonsense that your team just pulled?”

“Well,” I said, “We choked. We had y’all on the ropes, and choked it like the Boston Strangler.”

Points to Tim Conboy for stepping up to the plate. An ice pack or three for the bruises that Scott Parker left on your grill, dude. And Commodore?  WTF was that, defending against your own damn teammate?  Seriously, I’m asking here.

Frankie Kaberle needs to go. He needs to go posthaste. Hells, trade him to the Rangers for Malik. Sure, Harry’s not having that hot a season–but even the Dread Master can play defence despite the occasional braincramp!  And people picking on Samsonov for not scoring?  Fuck off. What, you expected him to score eleventy-billion goals in the three (so far) games that he’s had with us?  That’s not enough of a statistical sample to go on, and I’m trying to keep each team separate. Capisce?

The night was supposed to be cool–the Warchief gets #1100, the ‘Canes win and shut up this trolltard (whose nick shall not be revealed to be wlcinac919) that loves to post on TSB about how pathetic the Hurricanes are and how great the Avs are, and everything gets better from here. Instead, we’re still mired in November and December with little to no end in sight.

I’ll say it now–I don’t want to make the playoffs, if it means that we’ll be third-by-default. Third on points, second or first on points…but not third-by-default. That’s settling, and I refuse to settle.

Just sayin’.

Posted By: The Acid Queen
Last Edit: 13 Jan 2008 @ 02:46 PM

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 03 Jan 2008 @ 11:23 AM 

For the last five days, I’ve tried to come up with something pithy to post here regarding the Hurricanes’ inability to get it together for more than a game here or a game there.

And for the last five days, my attitude could easily be interpreted as ”well, if they don’t care then I don’t care.” Great attitude to have, no?  Of course, I do care. I’m also angry, but the angry is more at the attitude of some of my fellow fans than at the team.

Am I frustrated with the Hurricanes’ inability to get their act together come gametime?  Of course I am. But I really don’t see the use in screaming and hollering and beating my chest like various random idjits that infest the fanbase like cockroaches. So rather than bring the assy or the angry, I’m going to just have some fun around here.

It’s either that or start smoking again.

Posted By: The Acid Queen
Last Edit: 03 Jan 2008 @ 11:23 AM

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Categories: Heavy-drinking AQ
 14 Dec 2007 @ 10:42 PM 

There is dark irony that I did some reading on the 2007 Farm Bill (with two amendments that Smithfield and Tyson wanted turfed because it helps small meat producers compete with Big Agribusiness*) while the Hurricanes played catch-up all night against the Calgary Flames, losing despite putting in one mother of an effort.

Anyone who says the Canes mailed it in tonight needs to get the hell off the bus and turn in their fan card right now. Fucking frontrunners. Go cheer for Detroit or something.

I wish I could have gone tonight, I really do. Hells, I park at the Carter-Finley lot and take the Wolfline to work–how hard would it be to get off work, take the bus to C-F, and walk across the road to the RBC?

Nevermind that my car would get towed. We’ll just ignore that for the moment. I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE DAMMIT, BUT I HAVEN’T BEEN PAID BY THE NEW YOB YET AND I AM BROKE.


And so, I find myself again wishing that I could afford to be at the arena every night, just like I wished it in 2002-2003 when the Hurricanes were having difficulties after a game with those damnable Red Wings. I blame Detroit for this–of course, I blame Detroit for everything from the price of gas to the demise of Skylab, so take that as you will.

What to do, what to do? What to say, what to say? The power play is anemic, the penalty kill is meh, and the whole team is just…just…I don’t think that they’re mailing it in…much. But I do think that the frustration is getting to them. Has gotten to them. You people know what I mean. The team is in a steady downward spiral right now, and management is saying “no trades” (though I know damn well that JimR has something up his sleeve, even if the Fairweather-fan Idiot Brigade can’t figure it out).

But I’m not turning my back on the ‘Canes. I can’t do it. I’m too much of a fanatic to do it. I could die tonight, and I’ll be in the visiting team’s locker room before every game cutting skate laces and making sure that Icy Hot magically appeared in everyone’s jockstraps. It would take something really serious to make me turn my back on this team–and the chips being down? That ain’t it, kids. Being on a slide is small potatoes.

Everyone else can punch out, some random moron with no ball-sack can tell me that I’m sanctioning mediocrity by refusing to pull the D-ring–which I know he’d never do to my face, whatever. Fuck ‘em, cos I’ll be on this ride all the way.

‘Canes to the Bloody Bitter End, Baby!

I’m not a friend of Big Ag companies like Tyson, Smithfield, et al. — especially Smithfield.

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