Archive for the 'Damien Cox is an assclown' Category

16
Jan

When Good Teams Go Bad

By The Acid Queen 2 Comments
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Categories: Damien Cox is an assclown, David Shoalts is an assclown, Heavy-drinking AQ, Oh those Russians, Southeast Division, WHAT THE HELL MAN?! and snark

When I said in my previous post that I didn’t want the Hurricanes to win the SE if it meant that they’d be third-by-default, I wasn’t expecting the Atlanta Thrashers to take me seriously. But y’know?  I’m glad they did, because I was starting to get worried that a team that really doesn’t seem to give half a damn would actually make it into the playoffs.

ATTN HURRICANES: YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TALENT TO WIN ON TALENT ALONE.

Last season, I didn’t care. This season, I care but I am trying not to start smoking again. If it’s not fans on x Random Messageboard gettin’ all bipolar, it’s the team choking a gods-damned tie in Hogtown.

HOW THE HELLS DO YOU CHOKE A TIE?!

*sigh*

So, some highlights from last night:

Borer = keeper

Ladd and Cole get a stay of execution. Good to see Sergei the Keebler Elf finally get on teh scoreboard this season. I only fault the Cam and Mike Show for two of those goals.

AND THEN THERE IS OUR DEFENCE:

Dennis? Ich hab’ dich lieb, but if we get the chance to get somebody better for you then you gotta go.
Timmay, dunno what your issue has been the last few games but the flu only lasts but so long yanno?
Frankie? I’ll take the Dread Master over him.
Wes is doing the best he can.
Commodore? Package him up with Atlanta Frankie and see if we can bribe the Avs into parting with Liles.

And for the painful part: 

Something is seriously physically wrong with the Warchief, I don’t think that it’s the flu, and I am now convinced that he suffers from Hedicanitis because he’s being a selfish bastard by not being up-front with people or teh org about what his issue is. Gods it hurt to say that.

This team is killin’ me here. When I’d rather watch CSI reruns on Spike than watch a ‘Canes game?  That’s saying some shit right there.

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING: I expect that Dwayne Klessel will have Yet Another Staal-To-$TEAM Rumour<tm> up by this afternoon–but really?  Unless it’s for like Ovechkin or somebody else like that, Staal won’t go anywhere. He is The Chosen One, there is no way that JimR will get rid of him unless it’s for some absolutely ridiculous return coming our way. Just sayin’.

(p.s. Dammit Thrashers, why did you have to stop at 5 goals last night?!)

05
Jun

Leafs blame Islander for missing playoffs; Chairman Mo renews contract with Old Scratch.

By The Acid Queen 4 Comments
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Categories: Damien Cox is an assclown, GM Insanity and Mediocy

Oh, now this is funny.

It’s all Sean Hill’s fault that the Mo-ple Leafs missed the playoffs this season.

Were it a Leaf that had been popped and the situations reversed, would JFJ be crying? Of course not. Leafs fans are angry at another year without a Cup, playoffs, and Lil’ Fergie needs somebody to blame so that the fans don’t come marching down Younge Street with torches and pitchforks to re-enact the opening :15 of “Witch Hunt”.

Enter one Sean Hill. Hockey player, performance-enhancing substance user–and JFJ’s roomie when they both played for the Godless Habominations. I’m still waiting to find out what Hill got popped for, kids. What did he take, and when did he take it? And for that matter, if it was ‘roids then how did he manage to avoid showing signs of use? Was it the cream? The clear? Rogaine?  Lanacaine?  What was it?

Whatever. Hilly was appealing his suspension during the stretch, he was–under the rules–allowed to play during that appeal process, and he is not the reason why the Leafs choked a bid at the 8th seed in the East. The Isles outplayed the Leafs as a team during the last two weeks of the season, while the Leafs did their best impression of the 03-04 Hurricanes and Chairman Mo made his usual excuses.

If you want somebody to blame, Fergie, blame DUBIELEWICZ. It’s all his fault.

Damn that DUBIELEWICZ.

30
Mar

Fluke this, Drekhead.

By The Acid Queen 25 Comments
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Categories: Damien Cox is an assclown, Mediocy and Screw Bristol

Damien Cox: ZOMGFLUKE?

Gee, what a surprise–Toronto mediot Damien Cox is calling last year’s Cup finalists both flukes because of their travails this season. Oh, he tries not to say it, but please–that’s about as transparent as a piece of Scotch invis-o-tape on a windowpane.

I tell you what, if it’s not some smacktard sore loser with no imagination and a small e-penis trying (and failing) to drop garbage in my commentbox on his employer’s time and nickel, it’s a Leafs columnist who still holds a grudge over the 2002 ECF and the Leafs getting the bulk of their Cup wins knocked off the Cup by the Hurricanes.

Memo to Damien Cox: You CAN get those photos of the last Leafs Cup team colorized by hand, yanno. All you need is a little talent (which you apparently don’t have) and some photo-quality oil paints.

I tell you what, kids–nothing pisses me off more than some clueless know-nothing calling a team’s accomplishment a “fluke” for no real reason other than sheer assy bitterness…except for excuse-making by sore losers with a martyr complex. Memo to “The Troll”: Your comments get trashed without me even seeing them–the only indication I have that you’re trying to post anything is your IP address showing up on my statcounter. You’re the only Sabres fan person that I have on the comment-blacklist.

My favorite bit is this one:

Still, having both the Oilers and Hurricanes miss the playoffs would, to some degree, put a giant asterisk beside last season’s Cup finals. Nobody suggested either team was a powerhouse or a squad rivaling the Canadiens of the late 1970s or the Islanders of the early 1980s. But nobody screamed “FLUKE!” either. Still, right about now, that’s kind of how it looks.

Lemme clue you in to a universal truth, Damien: no team that makes it to a title game/series is a “fluke”–not a one, not ever. The teams that make it deserves to be there, and the team that wins deserves to win. Period. Were the Devils (may they fester in Nastrand) called a fluke in 1996, 2002, and 2004? Were the Red Wings called a fluke in 1996*, 1999, and 2003? Were the Habs called a fluke in 1994 or the Rangers called a fluke in 1995? No–certainly not by anyone with a clue (which, I guess, leaves Mr. Cox out of the equation). Why? Pry cos they’re not in the Southeast Division or a shadow of their once-dynastic selves–but then, that’s just my perspective.

The only flukes are the ones that infest your liver and your lungs–and if you have those, then you might want to see medical attention. As for me, I’m going to go back to cheering for my team and not giving a damn what any of you mooks have to say about them.

Go Canes, and to Nastrand with the rest of you.

*: For the history-impaired, 1996 is the season after the Red Wings got pwnt in the Finals by the Devils.

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