Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

Finally, after two years of begging pleading and anger from the fanbase, Chairman Mo has been deposed…again.

In his place comes Kirk Muller–who, unlike Chairman Mo, has a Cup ring and actual experience as a coach.

Like the first time, I’m thrilled about this. This org really needs to take a good long look at itself and really decide to make decisions that need to be made to bring it on a nightly basis–even if they don’t win a Cup or go super-deep in the playoffs every year, the fans in this area will reward a team that is actually TRYING to get shit done. They also appreciate accountability. Mo didn’t have it. Captain Kirk, OTOH, does.

Of course, given the “all of this has happened before, and it will happen again” nature of this organization, this does beg the question:

When will Chairman Mo come back like a chronic yeast infection?

I hope that question never gets answered.

Next game tomorrow at home against the Florida Panthers. Can’t wait to see how the team responds.

I’m going to turn this into yet another liveblog tonight, from my husband’s computer, and this post is a placeholder for that.

Caniacs and others, feel free to hop on and participate. Festivities will start at 4:30 with pre-game. I’ll bring the Rumple Minze.

Open Liveblog in popup window

…when, no matter how asstacularly the Hurricanes were playing that season, they could always be counted on to beat the Thrashers.

What in the blue hell was that last night?? Tomas Kaberle, whiffing on AN OPEN FREAKING NET. Really? Really?

Anyone who thinks that anyone not named Jeff Skinner, Chad LaRose, Brandon Sutter, or Cam Ward actually showed up and “played awesome” last night is either delusional or just plain stupid. I tried to watch the game again on the DVR to see if I could find at least something entertaining, but no–I finally had to give up and go watch a marathon of “Rocket City Rednecks” (which is highly entertaining, I might add–Safety Third!)

It was either that, or slit my wrists. Watching this team play under Chairman Mo is like being trapped in an abusive relationship, sometimes: you love them, they keep treating you badly, you really want to leave, but you keep going back to them because you love them.

Either that, or Mo is just the Coach of Life-Draining. Under any other coach, this team could actually play with some verve and maybe make some noise despite the fact that they’re relatively little and can be easily knocked-around. But under Mo?? Fuhgeddaboudit. Even Skinner and LaRose are starting to feel it.

Hell, under any other coach Boychuk and Bowman would actually get more than 5 minutes of ice time, Pat Dwyer would be on the 4th line where he belongs, and Chad LaRose wouldn’t get any higher than the third line. I would really, seriously, honestly, like for a Mo-apologist who doesn’t work for the Hurricanes to please explain to me why they feel Paul Maurice is an NHL-quality coach, when the previous FOURTEEN YEARS OF HIS CAREER have shown that he just isn’t.

Bonus points if you can manage to refrain from claiming that I have no right to say anything because I’ve never coached or played in the NHL.

The floor is open.

Now watch, I get like fifty million hits from people googling Monty Python.

ANYway. The Hurricanes are riding a two-game winning streak into the RBC Center, where they’ll be facing off against the Habs (who SUCK…I’m just sayin’!) and prodigal son Erik Cole.

Love you Colesy, but you’re the enemy now. No hard feelings.

So–despite that little win streak, which I hope will be extended to three games tonight, the Hurricanes are right at the bottom of the Division along with the usual suspects err Atlanta Thrashers. At the top of the division? ?Florida.

You heard me–the Florida bloody Panthers are at the top of the Southeast and tied with the Pflyers for third-on-points in the East. This is a team that was at third-from-the-bottom of the league last season (having been in roughly that position the whole time), and now they’re riding the wave and looking like a team that could do some damage in the playoffs (assuming, of course, that they make it in–it’s not even to the halfway mark of the season yet, and there is of course plenty of time for a collapse).

So…what changed? The coach. During the offseason, rather than keep Peter DeBoer on and just swap out pieces and parts, the Panthers also went out and hired The First One* (Kevin Dineen) as coach. The day that hiring was announced, I was at work AND on a call–so all I could do was flail in rage at my seat and cause my co-workers to look at me like I’d lost what’s left of my mind again. The Panthers go out and hire a guy that’s proven he’s got coaching chops and that can get his guys to play for him, and we’re stuck with Chairman Mo.

Really? ?Really? ?Oh wait, this is the org that showed their gratitude to Deener (who kept the team together as best he could during the tumultuous Greensboro years) by not making him an offer during the offseason. Of all the guys that had moved down with the team from Hartford, Kevin Dineen should have been allowed to come to Raleigh with the team. It was absolutely criminal that the org wouldn’t even give him that, and it was just as criminal that this nickel-and-dime outfit wouldn’t even consider bringing him back into the fold as coach.

Anyway, the game is tonight at 7:00. I’ll have the schnapps bottle at the ready, just in case everything goes pear-shaped. Regardless of result, Mo Must Go Again.

I’m sitting here watching the Hurricanes try not to collapse?after going up 3-1?(hubby’s computer has a TV tuner card in it, so I can watch and blog at the same time tonight, and it’s now 4-2). They get three goals, and immediately go into a defensive shell. Watching?the Hurricanes?reminds me of a tactic that noob Magic: The Gathering players use:

The Glass Box.

This strategy involves playing Circles of Protection, cards that block damage from certain sources. You throw down CoPs for all sources of damage–the five colours, and artifacts. So you’re in a little glass box, and in theory you can cast all the offensive spells and creatures that you want, thus easily winning. Yeah yeah, more info than you needed–but this strategy?is outdated, because there are far better protective cards to play.

It’s also easily defeated by various means, with stuff like Tranquility and other anti-enchantment cards that are cheap as chips to play.

If I’m being a little too subtle with my point, allow me to put it another way:

The?defensive shell sucks, and is the oldest trick in the hockey book. It’s easily shattered, it’s like the Nickel D–everybody’s wise to it, few people use it anymore, and it’s only effective against teams that are not overly offensive. Scoring is rare, and a savvy coach can easily overcome it 9 times out of 10. It drives me insane to see something like this still being used in the NHL, especially with a team that’s supposedly as talented as the Hurricanes are supposed to be.

Is it any wonder that poor Cam gets hung out to dry on a regular basis?

Discuss.

I had a big long polemic written, taking potshots at the Sunshine and Unicorns Brigade in the Caniac Nation–but I deleted it.

Really, it’s not worth it ranting about those stupid-ass people that think that you’re not a “real” fan or that you shouldn’t be allowed to be a fan if you don’t blindly support everything the team does.

Of course, one could also argue it’s not worth it ranting about how Paul Maurice fails as a coach and needs to be fired again–but of course I’ll still do it, because I’m a fan and that’s what I do.

Trufax!

And on that note, I and the Rumple Minze bottle are off to watch The Mighty Forslund and Fearless Leader call a game.

I’m trying out an Android-based blog client tonight, since my computer doesn’t have good LOS to my TV. Any typos amp;c. will get corrected at intermissions and post-game.

So far, the Hurricanes are doing okay. Not great, but okay. Skinner of course showed up, everyone else seems to be going through the motions. Again.

Will update randomly. Mo must go, again!

FIRST PERIOD

12:40 gg Juice, way to go with a bad slashing penalty. Hubby playing Maroon 5 in his computer room. Terrence bugging me for playtiemz, had to pause dvr. Pp looking, as usual, like ass.

13:04 BIG SHOCKER, A SLUGS GOAL. Let the pwnage begin, now taking bets on number of Slugfans arrested tonight.

14:03 Husband now playing Average White Band and KC and The Sunshine Band. Terrence distracted by automated laser toy parked on my ve. Sun Tzu joining in. Slugs pwning neutral zone.

16:45 We have a Boychuk sighting! Aaaaand there he goes, back on the bench. gg Mo…putz.

INTERMISSION

Nice tour of the players’ lounge by The Chosen One. I’ve only had one Alpine, but my face is red already–rosacea for the lose. I skipped over Bob Harwood’s chat with Jay Harrison, because eh–same old same old. “We’re working on the power play.” /SlapShot

Retreating to couch for second period with another Alpine.

SECOND PERIOD

3:00 Was that actual offensive pressure from the Canes? No, couldn’t have been.

4:56 Oh gods, can we just decline this penalty?

5:50 Nice try Eric, but…no.

6:15 Ehrhoff has been ausgezeichnet for the Slugs tonight. Very nice play.

Aaaaaand another power play wasted.

8:00 Ponikarovsky in locker room. No great loss, but hope he isn’t hurt.

9:05 Boychuk makes token appearance for the period, and makes a lovely pass that nobody could be arsed to get and…oh I dunno…SCORE A FRELLING GOAL with. Seeya next period, bubba.

10:00 Time for more schnapps? Nah, gotta finish this Alpine first. Mmmmm….Alpines. Terrence now snoozing next to me. Sun Tzu watching you-mans on TV intently.

13:48 The Mighty Forslund flogging tickets. Yeeeeeah, okay.

16:30 Slugs aren’t even trying hard, and they are pwning us. Only Canes who showed tonight are Boosh, Boychuk, Rosie, and of course Skins. Sheesh.

END OF SECOND PERIOD

Intermission will be spent playing Angry Birds.

THIRD PERIOD

:45 Aaaand the Canes are making Enroth look like a Vezina winner. Staal is snakebit.

OK, no more schnapps. Face feels like I ate a bhut golokia chile.

2:15 Defensive shell and…GO!

5:08 Sheesh…Sun Tzu losing interest, and schnapps hitting me hard. I am a sleepy lightweight.

6:00 Sutter looks like he needs to drive a seedy van and offer candy to random kids, with that stache. #movember

7:00 Tripp and The Mighty Forslund talking about GM meetings and ignoring game for a bit. I dunna blame them one bit.

Wonder if I can make my cranberry dressing for Thanksgiving now, rather than waiting until Monday? Hmmmm…..

90125 err 9:25 Boucher is saving our collective asses. Would be nice if more than like three dudes showed some gratitude by trying to frelling score.

15:00 Mo must go, again.

WHY THE FRELL IS LAROSE ON THE FIRST LINE AGAIN MO?

16:21 Sheeeesh.

17:00 Wonder how many Slugfans got arrested tonight?

18:22 Good job Rosie.

19:00 Pack it up, the Canes have left the building. Except for Jay Harrison, who is still there.

20:00 Slugs 1, Pod People 0. And I am wanting bacon for some reason.

This will be kind of a quick-and-dirty post.

Another day, another crap game. Last night at the RBC Center, Peter Laviolette showed once again why he is a better coach than Chairman Mo.

The team looked like crap, like they forgot everything that worked during the Pittsburgh game…and Chairman Mo only stood behind the bench cracking his Big Red. Yet again, he showed why he’s an AHL (at best) coach.

Let’s be real here: the team kinda sucks right now. Tripp calling us Toronto South was, sadly correct–we’ve got Leafs retreads on the roster, and it shows.

Mo Must Go, Again.

I can’t think of a better title for this post, really.

We all know what’s happened: Jerry Sandusky, former assistant coach at Penn State, was popped for raping children. Now it comes out that legendary coach Joe Paterno AND Penn State AD Tim Curley AND, apparently, half the rest of the freaking University, knew about it. It was reported. People even went to the campus police.

And nothing was done until a mother finally went to her local police and swore out a complaint against Sandusky.

Paterno–who was given an eyewitness account by a grad assistant (that we now know was PSU receivers coach Mike McQueary) who walked in on Sandusky raping a 10-year old boy–knew, but did nothing except tell his superiors. He had a chance to do the right thing, to stop the assault and call the police or to just immediately go to the police. But instead, he called his father–who told him to tell Paterno about it. Didn’t tell him to go to the cops and then to Paterno, didn’t tell him to do the right thing.

He told him to go to JoePa. And Paterno effectively did nothing. McQueary–WHO SAW THAT PIECE OF SHIT SANDUSKY RAPING A CHILD–did nothing. Curley–the godsdamned Athletic Director–did nothing. Gary Schultz, PSU’s VP of Business and Finance, University President Graham Spanier did nothing.

None of these people did anything to protect the victims, because they were all more concerned with Penn State’s reputation and with protecting their freaking jobs rather than being concerned with doing the right gods-damned thing.

Joe Paterno was fired last night by Penn State’s Board of Trustees, after refusing to take early retirement. With him went Graham Spanier. The sheer arrogance of Paterno’s refusal to immediately step down and admit his wrongdoing is galling. The excusemaking by Penn State fans and others is galling–that Paterno is somehow untouchable because of his high graduation rate, or because he was only doing his job by passing it up the chain of command.

FUCK. THAT. Those men had a moral obligation to alert the authorities and see to it that Sandusky’s predations were halted IMMEDIATELY, and they decided that instead of doing the right thing they’d do the easy thing and sweep it all under the rug.

I’ve talked about stuff like this before. There was a moral–indeed, a wholly criminal–failing on the part of Penn State University to not only NOT pursue the matter once it was first brought to their attention in 1998 when Sandusky was caught in the showers with young boys, but to cover it up and effectively tell Sandusky “If you want to rape kids, don’t do it on campus.”

Words cannot describe the rage I feel toward these people and toward the people of poor moral character that are defending them. Seeing PSU students rioting over the Paterno firing is making me sick to my stomach–the man protected a child-rapist. He doesn’t deserve anything except excoriation for his part in what happened. McQueary needs to be fired. The DoJ needs to nail that school’s ass to the freaking wall.

Justice needs, at long last, to finally be done–especially if that justice involves Jerry Sandusky being put into Gen Pop at a Maximum Security prison with a sign around his neck saying “I RAPE KIDS”.

The axe is sharp, and I’m ready for war. Let the Day of Rage begin.

Every time I see the Hurricanes’ facebook page, especially after a loss, I weep for humanity.

Well OK, I really just want to put a paper bag over my head and deny any association with some of the morons that post there. Let me give you an example of some of the scintillating intellects over yonder, after Friday night’s beatdown at the hands of the Capitals:

(names omitted to protect the stupid)

“Holy cow! Last year the Boston Bruins were beat 6-1, 5-2, 4-1 twice- and by teams like Atlanta and Pheonix. Chill- its just one game”

In response to a poster who made very cogent and intelligent comments about how the Hurricanes are lacking in the talent department:

“I really don’t think there is that much of a talent gap outside of a top line winger. That’s an excuse, either way”

Yes, because a nickel-and-dimed team that’s at the salary floor is really uber-talented.

And then there’s this gem, from somebody who obviously feels that spelling and punctuation aren’t that important:

“I had the game dvr’d and have watched 2 periods….don’t understand at all some comments i saw earlier about this team quiting in 2 and 3…..some of you are just plain SORE losers. This is a better more competitive team than we have had since the cup year, much better defensively than last year, and more dangerous offensively…..Don’t understand how a win and well played games and you are nowhere to be found, yet a loss and the same old blame game…..If something made me THAT miserable, I’d find something else to do with my time….pull for your team if they are your team, and evaluate critically when they play less than capable of, but the continued this guy that guy, coaching sucks, every time there is a loss, says far more about you than it says about the Carolina Hurricanes….BTW, there are other teams to compete against on the ice, and some of them are pretty darn good…..”

I’m sorry, I don’t speak Idiot. Could you please rephrase that in a language more closely approximating English? Thanks.

And then we have this scintillating conversationalist:

“good god is most of the people posting on here sun shine fans or what, so what we lost because of the refs so stop finding reason to blame one person or persons”

Because, of course, if the Hurricanes have only one penalty called on them the whole night, and get FOUR POWER PLAYS and can’t convert on a single one, it’s CLEARLY the referees’ fault that they lost. And we can’t dare complain about it, because the team is OMGPERFECT!!!!1

But the Post of the Year comes from this moron:

“I truly believe some of you like it when the Canes lose it gives you some kind of cheap satisfaction to post “your” Mo must go”, “Cam was terrible”, “Staal sucks”, “Larose belongs on the 3 line”,comments , i never see half of your names when we win, until you make coach of the N H L , keep your negative comments to yourself ,alot of us are tired of them.”

Yes, because if you’re not all Sunshine and Happiness and Unicorns Farting Rainbows, then you’re just a Bad Fan(tm) who hates the team. HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THE TEAM, YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE?! IF YOU WANT TO BE A REAL FAN YOU HAVE TO LOVE THEM AND ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS ABOUT THEM!

Please, give me a break. Fans like this come with the territory, sure–but it drives me freaking mad when actually trying to make a cogent point (for example: Chad LaRose is a great guy and I like him, and he’s the Chuck Norris of Hockey, but he’s a 4th-line energy guy and doesn’t belong anywhere near a Top 6) winds up getting the commenter bombarded with out and out stupidity from people that can’t handle one simple concept:

Just because you’re a fan of a team, that doesn’t mean that you have to believe they can do no wrong.

Really, people. It’s OK to be critical of your favourite team. Nobody’s going to take away your tickets or ban you from the venue for the high crime and misdemeanour of pointing out where you feel the team is falling down on the job. Just try it sometime. Try living in reality for once. I promise, it won’t kill you.

And maybe, just maybe, you may actually sound intelligent for once.

Of course, there are the motards on the opposite end of the spectrum who are just as unintelligent in vocalizing criticisms–but that’s another post.

(p.s. the Hurricanes are going to lose today, because I posted in the blog. Just an FYI.)