Oh, I can just see how much fun this will be. Earlier today, I got into it with some noob on Facebook who seems to feel Sean Avery (who is on waivers) is an enforcer and that the Hurricanes need him. When I pointed out his noobery, he got all upset (predictably), and told me to STFU because he’s “always been a canes fan” and “played hockey all my life”.
Yeah. Right. He needs to go hang out with the Juggalos of the NHL, they’re about his speed.
As much as I admire his bollocks in being up-front about supporting equality, Sean Avery is NOT, repeat NOT an enforcer in any way, shape, form, or fashion.
He turtles when challenged by somebody who gets tired of the little fuckhead running his yap or taking cheapshots. He has to wait until another player is restrained by the linesmen and unable to respond in order to get a punch in. His idea of “enforcing” is to be a one-man Morris dancing side in front of Marty Brodeur during a playoff game.
Anyone who thinks that’s “enforcing” is a moron or a noob or both.
Bob Probert (rest his soul) was an enforcer. The late Messrs. Rypien, Boogaard, and Belak were enforcers. Joe Kocur and Darren McCarty were enforcers. STUUUUUU Grimson, Esq. is an enforcer (and I’d be happy to have him represent me in court, too. Very smart fellow). Clark fucking Gillies was an enforcer. Dave bloody Semenko was an enforcer. Riley Cote, Dan Carcillo, Inglourious Backes, Eric Godard, and Zack Stortini are all enforcers.
Sean Avery, bless his little turtling heart, is not an enforcer any more than I am the King of Siam. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
I’ll open the floor up to the five people that are reading this blog at any one time: Please, explain to me if you can how Sean Avery is an enforcer. (comment moderation should be turned off now, btw–I’m trusting all y’all to play somewhat nice, here)