04 Oct 2011 @ 8:40 PM 

Oh, I can just see how much fun this will be. Earlier today, I got into it with some noob on Facebook who seems to feel Sean Avery (who is on waivers) is an enforcer and that the Hurricanes need him. When I pointed out his noobery, he got all upset (predictably), and told me to STFU because he’s “always been a canes fan” and “played hockey all my life”.

Yeah. Right. He needs to go hang out with the Juggalos of the NHL, they’re about his speed.

ANYWAY.

As much as I admire his bollocks in being up-front about supporting equality, Sean Avery is NOT, repeat NOT an enforcer in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

He turtles when challenged by somebody who gets tired of the little fuckhead running his yap or taking cheapshots. He has to wait until another player is restrained by the linesmen and unable to respond in order to get a punch in. His idea of “enforcing” is to be a one-man Morris dancing side in front of Marty Brodeur during a playoff game.

Anyone who thinks that’s “enforcing” is a moron or a noob or both.

Bob Probert (rest his soul) was an enforcer. The late Messrs. Rypien, Boogaard, and Belak were enforcers. Joe Kocur and Darren McCarty were enforcers. STUUUUUU Grimson, Esq. is an enforcer (and I’d be happy to have him represent me in court, too. Very smart fellow). Clark fucking Gillies was an enforcer. Dave bloody Semenko was an enforcer. Riley Cote, Dan Carcillo, Inglourious Backes, Eric Godard, and Zack Stortini are all enforcers.

Sean Avery, bless his little turtling heart, is not an enforcer any more than I am the King of Siam. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I’ll open the floor up to the five people that are reading this blog at any one time: Please, explain to me if you can how Sean Avery is an enforcer. (comment moderation should be turned off now, btw–I’m trusting all y’all to play somewhat nice, here)

Posted By: The Acid Queen
Last Edit: 04 Oct 2011 @ 08:40 PM

EmailPermalink
Tags


 

Responses to this post » (5 Total)

 
  1. Golfball says:

    If, by some unfathomable turn of circumstance, any team (other than his current employer) hires Sean Avery and uses him as an enforcer, would you be prefer to be titled, Her Majesty Acidqueen of Siam or His Majesty Acidqueen of Siam.

    On a side note, Stu has a law degree? What state is he a member of the bar? [I just think that law is an incredibly cool after sports career. I briefly considered going into law a few years ago, but like my dad, decided I wanted to watch my kids grow up instead. I will have to post photos of the latest GolfTee]

    • acidqueen5426 says:

      Stu is a member of the bar in Tennessee. He really is a very smart and well-spoken fellow, which people don’t expect given the image of pro athletes as “dumb jocks”. After he retired, he finished his undergrad degree at (I think) UManitoba, then got his JD from UMemphis Law School.

      Oh yeah, and Your Infernal Majesty will be fine. ;)

  2. NJRanger says:

    agree for the most part but Carcillo is no enforcer, he's cut from the same cloth as Avery

  3. Marty says:

    The only time Avery was an enforcer was in the movie "The Rocket", where he played Bob Dill. Even then, Dill wasn't much of an enforcer…

Tags
Comment Meta:
RSS Feed for comments

 Last 50 Posts
 Back
Change Theme...
  • Users » 3
  • Posts/Pages » 628
  • Comments » 1,231
Change Theme...
  • VoidVoid « Default
  • LifeLife
  • EarthEarth
  • WindWind
  • WaterWater
  • FireFire
  • LightLight

Who We Are, What We Do



    No Child Pages.