Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

Of ALL the guys we could have drafted in the first round:
16) C/RW Landon Ferraro
17) RW Zach Budish
20) LW Carl Klingberg
21) C Drew Shore
23) LW Jeremy Morin
27) D Stefan Elliott
34) RW Alex Chiasson (no relation to Steve)
35) D Ryan Button
37) C Joonas Nattinen
38) D Charles-Olivier Roussel
39) C Ryan O’Reilly
40) RW Richard Panik
41) C Ethan Werek
42) D Dmitri Orlov
43) C Tomas Tatar
44) RW Toni Rajala
45) D Eric Gelinas
46) D Brayden McNabb
47) RW Josh Birkholz
48) C Alex Hutchings
49) C Jakob Silfverberg
50) D Seth Helgeson

We pick this dude:

WTF was the scouting staff smoking when they made that pick?? Did all 4 of them decide to gather ’round, light up a big blunt, and come to the collective conclusion that the solution to all of our size woes was some dude that everyone else figured was a second-rounder at best?? What are they going to do with this dude, give him a wand and tell him to go fight Voldemort? Maybe they got so stoned that they thought they were drafting for a Quidditch team instead of an NHL team.

The only team that was made of more fail than the Hurricanes on Day 1 of the Draft were the Hartfordelphia Whaleflyers. When that trade got announced, I had to ask myself if Homer was hitting the sauce again–all that for My Golden Bitch?? Really?? Really?? 2 first-rounders, a conditional 3rd-rounder, AND two good young players?? For Pronger?? If I’m a Pflyers fan, I’m getting out the cans of gas and the matches and preparing to immolate myself in front of the Walk-Over-Ya Center because…damn.

p.s. TSN’s trio of commentators can blow me for deciding to cut away from/talk over Ron Francis when he announced our pick. I mean, I get that they figured “eh, it’s the Hurricanes, they’ll just blow it anyway”–but really. You asshats could have STFU and let Ronnie announce the pick.? I mean, I’m just sayin’.

Can’t wait to see how they blow it on Day 2. Somebody pass me a Mojito…or ten.

I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance I will not sackdance

Honestly, I really don’t care about the fawning over Crosby–it’ll pass, in time, and I ignore a lot of the mediocy that goes on anyway. Orpik, I don’t care about anymore. Cole has let it go, so I’ve let it go. The annoyingness of most of their fans, eh.? They’ll settle down rather than act like entitled jagoffs that don’t know shit about their own team and can’t take congrats without showing their asses.

Good job, Pens. You played well when it counted most, and you’ve got your vengeance. Enjoy your offseason…and enjoy having a target on your collective backs again.

Hail the Penguins!

Have a drink on me, boys.