Yeah, I can definitely hear Raj Binder doing a Dives imitation. Actually, I’m imagining it now, and…heh. “Right side, even side, many whelps, HANDLE IT! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” Oh, some days I miss WoW.

At least it’s not the Norris Division.

True, though the Norris Division looks like it might not totally suck this year; I’m kind of astonished myself. I’ll be sad if the Smythe becomes the new standard for suck in the West, but it could happen.

Anyway. The Southeast is competitive–but most of that competition seems to be with itself. Except for Atlanta, which is just a clownshow and has been since Day One. Tampa, well…the talent was always there–but Tortorella’s message rang pretty hollow after three seasons and it’s my opinion the team quit on the guy. The Caps, I’ll give you. Florida ceased to be relevant in 1997 and is content to just whine and cry about “divers” rather than actually try to be any good.

At least it’s not the Norris Division.

*:For the CBC-unaware: Raj Binder is a character on the show “This Hour Has 22 Minutes”–which is a more politically-oriented Saturday Night Live…only unlike SNL, it’s consistently funny.

Also, I’d like to nominate the SE’s polar opposite, the NW, to join the weak-sister club. Seriously, it may still be one of the better-matched divisions in the League, but it’s not really that good anymore. The Oilers have lots of scoring but weak D and still-uncertain goaltending, while the rest of the division all seem to be one-line teams with good goalies (except the Avs, who have one line and no goaltending) and varying degrees of okay D. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a couple of NW teams fall out of it in favour of Chicago and…I dunno, Phoenix?

As for why the SE is regarded as weak, well, just look at the standings in recent years. Yeah, in the last five years, ’04 Lightning and ’06 Hurricanes were legitimately good teams. Outside of that? Atlanta’s been mediocre or shit for most of its existence, Washington was okay in ’03 but then shit until this year, Florida’s been mediocre or shit almost since their Finals run in ’96, the Lightning circled the drain in a hurry post-Cup, going from Cup champions to lottery champions in just three seasons, and the Hurricanes missed the playoffs two years in a row (though granted, the second came down to Game 82) after winning the Cup, and prior to winning the Cup, they were bad for the two years following the ’02 run, including the AQ-termed Year From Hell. Now, I don’t think that it says much about these places as hockey markets — that’s the great fallacy of a lot of self-important writers, and the one I suspect you’re railing against — but it does say that the SE has been home to a lot of badly-run, or if you want to be charitable, horrifically unlucky teams.

If you’re going to take issue with something I say, I really don’t think it’s too much to ask that you actually learn to use an accurate quote.

Of course, even then it’d be pretty clear that my point has sailed right over your head.

my mistake.

Right.

Because it’s not true? The red wings lost more to their own division last year than any of the other divisions

I’m seriously considering getting someone to sew me an ECU hockey flag just so people will recognize the team.

I live in the inner circle of hell.