Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

(Note: I wrote this as Game 5 was winding down. I present it now, with minor changes.)

And the Malik Effect claims another victim. Congratulations, Red Wings.

As much as I hate that team, as much as I think that their fans are (with a few exceptions–three of whom are bloggers) a bunch of drooling moronic n00blets with no class who know exactly dick-all about hockey, as much as I was hoping for them to get pwned a la 1995, I must speak truth here:

They–the Red Wings–are consummate professionals, and in these Finals they gave a clinic in how to completely and totally dismantle a team that had become–and let us be honest here–a disorganized gang that at times in this series could barely find their own nutsacks with a flashlight and a sat-nav unit. I must applaud that.

Anyone who is a fan of the sport must, in my opinion, rise above their hatred and applaud the skill and professionalism shown by the Red Wings. Valour of course doesn’t enter into this equation, not this time–they didn’t have a captain who willed himself to play on one functional leg. They didn’t have to overcome any great adversity or even have to battle back from being on the ropes. They were simply given a task, and like the band of trained assassins that they are the Red Wings terminated their target with extreme prejudice.

I must raise a glass to that. As a fan of hockey, as an admirer of individual skill, I must salute that. I must admire that.

I never said I had to like it, of course. But I must–and I do–respect it.

I must also raise a glass to the Pittsburgh Penguins, who could have rolled over and died. No lie kids, they really looked like they were going to shrivel on the vine much as the Senators did last season. But they didn’t. And do not let my satirical e-mail to NHL Live earlier today fool you–I was cheering for the Pens, and foolishly thought that I’d be able to make a “prediction” and have it fall flat to force a seventh game. I was hoping that that triple-overtime deflation would take the wind out of the Red Wings’ sails and propel the Penguins on to an eventual win.

Sadly, I was the one disappointed. Congratulations, Red Wings.

Thank you, and good night.

It’s been reported in LSB (by way of the National Post) that Canadian gazillionaire Jim Balsillie was (according to his people) approached by eight US-based NHL teams about a possible sale. The writer of the article, one Theresa Tedesco, made a point of mentioning that four of those teams were based in the southern US (and three of those markets–Carolina, Atlanta, and Tampa–happen to be in the SE Division), in conjunction with the words “weak hockey markets”.

Atlanta, eh. That town has ALWAYS been a slack sports town. Even when the Braves were the NL West/East/Whatever Champs for like 12839071298312476 seasons in a row, they never filled Fulton County Stadium (or its successor, Turner Field). Even when the Falcons were good (for all of like five minutes), the GeorgiaDome never got full. That said: Hockey has always been a draw in Atlanta–the Flames, had their original owner not been forced to sell them by the collapse of the real-estate market (and had the only buyer not been from Calgary), would likely still be in Atlanta and they would still be drawing modestly. That said, playing like ass does tend to keep fans away.

Tampa, though…Not really thrilled, here. Tampa’s had terrific attendance figures since the season they won the Cup, and they are a strong sports market and have been for years–hells, look at the Bucs. They were pathetic for years, and people still went to games. The market is not weak here, kids.

Which brings us to the Hurricanes. We’re not Detroit, but our economy here in the sports-crazy Triangle sucks ass and is preventing people like me from buying tickets too–of course, since we’re not Detroit we’re not allowed to use that excuse and we just have to take sidelong jabs from fans (and the occasional mediot) about us not being a hockey market. Even so, I don’t think that the Hurricanes present a very tempting target for Balsillie because really, they’re not struggling that much. The guy is going to want a team that’s seriously on the rocks because he feels that he can move it with impunity and little backlash.

Whatever happens, fans of whichever team this man latches his claws onto should prepare for that team’s imminent departure.

Hockey: It’s teh srs bzns.

My current gaming obsession is EVE Online, so here is another EVE video–because I’d rather not think about a certain cerebrally-challenged band of idiots getting any kind of satisfaction tonight.

This bad boy is a trailer for the game. It really is a stunning, beautiful game.

Here’s a combat video set to “Furious Angels” by Rob Dougan:

And finally, a link to my corp’s website, with a recruitment vid on the frontpage.

Man this is a beautiful game.