Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

Courtesy of Emperor Paul I:

NHL in talks with Bristol. Bettman says “What can I say, we miss our old abusive relationship.”

Because really, The Worldwide Leader In Rodeo didn’t give the NHL short enough shrift (and act enough like the League only has five teams) the first time around.

More exposure? From Bristol? If Bristol will treat the NHL better than NBC has, I’m the Pope. Don’t blame me, I was only following orders. Of course, I will give Bristol one thing: they can certainly do better than to have former Whalers coach (not to mention the chief fellator of Sidney Crosby and, of course, whoever is playing against the team he used to coach) Pierre McGuire and Mad Mike Milbury as the talking heads in the studio.

WUWT, 30 Rock? You pick possibly the two biggest assclowns in hockey as your broadcast crew over the far superior Ray Ferraro and Bill Clement? May I have some of whatever the high-ups at NBC Sports are smoking, please?

Sheesh.

WELL! I go to work for the evening, and look what I miss.

Eric Staal spends the night in der Kerke after bachelor bacchanal gets out of hand.

Is it horrible earth-shattering stuff? No.

Why?

Because everyone is still breathing and in one piece. No property was damaged (that we know of at this time), no persons were injured (that we know of at this time), and nobody was drunk and behind the wheel (that we know of at this time). And Eric and his brothers were asleep when the coppers showed up to boot ‘em, so there you go.

And nobody was running a dogfighting ring, either.

ON THE OTHER HAND, it was still pretty gods-damned foolish to stop at the side of the highway and start hassling passing motorists when the local constabulary is already annoyed with them, alcohol or no alcohol. Thankfully nobody was hurt. But what do I think should happen? Nothing.

That’s right: nothing. I feel that no punishment should be meted out to Eric Staal by the Hurricanes. Dudeman and his bros were ASLEEP when the cops showed up to toss the lot of ‘em. Meh. That’s it–just…meh.

I can’t even be bothered to give Eric a cute nickname like “Punkin Drublic” or something–though really, I find myself picturing Jordan Staal and Sidney Crosby as Beavis and Butt-head.

…

*saves that one for future comedic reference*

Would this make Coach Therrien Mr. Buzzcut? Just curious.

If you’ve tried to mail me at my streetneeds.com address and it bounced, it’s because of all the penis enlargement and 419-scam spams that have been clogging my inbox at the expense of people I actually WANT to hear from.

So I’ve got a gmail address now–which I should have gotten in the first place.

acidqueen5426 (at) gmail.com

Thank you, that is all.

OK, so I got tagged by The Chief. Topic: My Five Favorite Songs

Man…I don’t think any song after 1991 or so is on this list.

5) Waiting For The Great Leap Forward, by Billy Bragg. Yes, I like Billy Bragg. Yes, I know he sometimes sounds like a braying donkey when he sings. I don’t care–he can still put together a good ‘un, and this song has been one of my favorites since I first saw the video for it in high school (though the “updated” lyrics that BB uses now just don’t flow for me). What will you do when the war is over, tender comrade?

4)  Walking In Your Footsteps, by The Police. I’ve always been a huge fan of this group, and for some reason every time I make a mix CD for my car this song winds up on it (along with a random selection of its mate from Synchronicity).

3)  In A Big Country, by Big Country. Maybe it’s the way that Stuart Adamson and Bruce Watson made their guitars skirl like bagpipes. Maybe it’s because the video was cool in its very 80’s British Invasion way. Who knows?  All I know is that it’s my third-favorite song. Rest easy, Stuart.

2) For What It’s Worth, by Buffalo Springfield. A very young Stephen Stills and Neil Young sportin’ sideburns that The Mighty Forslund would kill for. Gotta love the 60s.

1)  Marry The Sea, by New Model Army. I’d comment about why I love this song so much, but it’d be sad and mopey and nobody needs to see what’s left of my dignity roont like that.

Man, who to tag?

Golbez (whenever he comes back from vacation)

d-lee

CapsChick

Mike Sundheim,  (note: I don’t expect him to really do this, for reasons which when you click the link must be all too obvious–but he’s more than welcome to comment here)

Eric McErlain

Tag!  See you guys in a week when the boss comes back from vacation and I can go back to having some free time again.

Welcome back, Cully. Can’t wait to see you scoring a few shootout goals here and there.

(I’ve been busy cos the boss is on vacation–but I figured I should say SOMETHING here)

So yesterday’s highlight–for me–was getting a text message telling me that Buffalo lost both their captains to free agency.

Well that and fending off Paco the Burrito Bandito’s latest attempt to clean out the store’s sandwich cooler without paying for anything. And trying not to fall asleep behind the wheel on the way home from work.

Now that I’ve had some sleep (and a chance to take a look at everything), I find myself laughing at the stupid money that’s being thrown around yet AGAIN this season. Tom Poti to the Crapitals for 3.5 bills per? Wow, thanks a lot for buggering the market for mid-to-low-end defensemen, GMGM. This time next year I’m sure somebody will be able to sign Marek Malik for 6Million per (and as much as I adore the cat, he’s no 6 Million Dollar Man). And now they’re thinking of signing Alexei Yashin? What? This is a joke, right?

And the Rangers, of course, are reverting back to their old ways by throwing idiotic money at every free agent that they think they can get their hands on. The more things change….

The ‘Canes, meanwhile, are content to hang back and let the dust clear–their only signing being Yet Another Midget. I am okay with this, since he should help us on shootouts, but of course half the folks at TheScoreBoards and the Hurricanes’ official site are whining and crying over the signing. Yeah, maybe we should have offered Scott Gomez $12Million per year for the next five years or something–that would have made a lot of sense, huh?

Sheesh.

As for that Pitkanen trade that was blowing around the ‘Canes boards for a while….huh. Turns out Cooch went to Edmonton after all–and Philly, IMO, went almost as stupid as the Caps and Rangers.

(We interrupt this post for an important announcement: CONGRATULATIONS, TSN, ON SCHEDULING ONLY A SHORT DAY OF COVERAGE OF UFA DAY 1 TO SHOW NASCAR.** After that and Sportsnet getting the NHL to shove back the start time of a Leafs-Canes game so they could show a race in Toronto, I don’t ever EVER want to hear another NASCAR crack from anyone north of 49 again. EVER. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled thread, already in progress.)

Briere for 8 years at 6.5Million per? 10Million per for Timonen and 5.2Million per for Hartnell? Homer, have you fallen off the wagon again? Was Bobby the Brainless in the room with you holding a gun to your dog’s head or something, to make you sign those completely asinine deals? Seriously mang, I’m worried about you.

I dunno, kids–I don’t think anyone was smart with their signings yesterday. The smart folks, IMO, are the Carolinas and Ottawas and Tampas that are hanging back and letting the “big spenders” get themselves in cap trouble so that they can capitalize later.

The more things change….

**: This very belated edit is to amend a misunderstanding on my part–TSN only scheduled 3 hours of coverage to show Neckcar. Apparently that’s supposed to make it still OK for Canadians to crack Neckcar jokes about hockey teams south of the Mason-Dixon Line, but this blogger ain’t havin’ it.