Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

I go away for a couple weeks cos of work and other non-hockey stuff, and what do I find?

Chris Cheli-ass was named the Mark Messier Leader Of The Year.  Yeah, there’s a match made in Nastrond–I know I’d consider a whining cheap-shotting classless hotel-room trasher who refuses to shake hands with his opponents a real leader, there. Why not just call it the “Mark Messier Aging Asshat Award” if all Mess is going to do is pick the oldest assiest player in the League every season?

Bite me, Chief.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Cam Ward: Hot off a World Champeenships win, 3 years, 8 bills. Here’s hoping he earns that cash.

Now that the Sabres got blasted off the “BOO HOO CAROLINA STOLE OUR CUP” Bus O’ Bulldada by the Sens, I am back to loathing the Red Wings in full effect. Punks.

And speaking of the Sens: These Finals are, so far, showing the value of Finals-veteran leadership. The Ducks have plenty right now–the Sens will have plenty after this is all over. I’m still barracking for the Sens, but they have got to start burying those chances they’re getting and fast.

BTW, TSN: Going an hour away to Newport Beach and talking to a Red Wings fan who says “Durrrr, Sens in three!” != accurate gauge of fan interest in hockey.  And Reuters?  WTF was up with going to Disneyland and asking people about the Finals?  EVERYBODY THERE IS FROM OUT OF TOWN, YOU MORONS.  That’s like asking Roger from Medicine Hat if he knows who’s playing for the North Carolina 4-AAA Pop Warner title.

Fuck you very much, you elitist pricks. Just cos I’m cheering for the Sens, that doesn’t mean I gotta put up with that kind of elitist bulldada. Hockey will never grow in the southern States like I and others want it to as long as we have to deal with elitist garbage from asshats like that.

And speaking of asshats, I see that Jim Ballsillie has finally found a victim. I’m sure the Chief is wetting himself with glee at the thought of Nashville losing its team, but hopefully the fans will give Ballsillie a big middle-finger and get more than 14,000 per game–which, of course, means that Captain Patent Infringer will have to Karmanos his way out of Nashville to bring the team to Hamilton.

But it’ll be OK, of course, because the team will be going North instead of South. Yeah.

So the hubby’s been on a huge rice kick lately. Every other trip to the store, he buys a 2.5 pound (for those of you who use a real system of measurement: ~1.12 kg) bag of rice.

Rice, rice, rice, rice. All we have is rice. And this stuff called “stir-fry sauce”. And occasionally steak strips–all of which he expects me to make into beef fried rice for him. Well after I make him what he thinks fried rice should be, I still have lots of rice left over. So, what to do with all that left-over cooked rice?

Enter my mom, who used to make this bomb-ass rice pudding when I was a kid. It’s not exactly low-fat, but it’s pretty damn tasty. Even my husband–who is possibly the finickiest eater on the planet–gives it a thumbs-up.

No-egg No-bake rice pudding

3 cups cold cooked rice
~2 cups milk or half-and-half
sweetener of your choice (to taste)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Crumble the rice into a saucepan set over a low flame and add ~1c milk. Stir the rice to make sure that any clumps are broken up, then cover and let gently simmer for a few minutes (stirring occasionally to make sure that there’s nothing deciding to stick to the bottom of the pot).

edited to add: The thickening is provided by the rice, which should ideally be allowed to sit in a very loosely covered (with a tea towel) bowl for a day to let some of its moisture evaporate. So the rice will absorb the milk and turn nice and creamy.

When the rice looks creamy and won’t absorb any more milk, it’s ready to roll. Stir in some sweetener of choice–I use honey or Splenda, but that’s just me–and give it a try. When the sweetness level is to your liking, stir in the vanilla and add raisins (if you have them) or other accoutrement and serve. I dig raisins, craisins (dried cranberries), dried cherries, and every once in a while I go for canned mandarin segments that I’ve washed (to get rid of the syrup, which I’ve never been fond of). Whatever’s left can be put in the fridge in a tupperware container of some sort, and keeps for about a week (as if it’ll last that long).

….but he sure has some powerful magic.

Congrats, Sens.

AND ANOTHER THING:

Yes, I know about the Sabres fan that was assaulted on her way out of ScotiaBank Place–sorry kids, but double-shifting for two days kinda tends to crimp the blogging time. But let me go on record about the incident:

Do I condone such action?  No. Absolutely not. Wrong is wrong–let me repeat:

WRONG IS WRONG.

And being a poor host is just as wrong (if not more wrong) as being a poor guest–and gods only know I’ve harped enough on being a poor guest. The Sens are doing the right thing in apologizing for the actions of the fans that beat on this poor woman, and I hope that they do the right thing and extend their offer to the regular season (since, of course, the playoffs are now over for the Sabres–sorry Tom).

Just sayin’.

The Chief, as those who read his blog well know, rarely spares his snarktasticity (and unlike some of his regular Wings-fan commenters (like the borderline-racist fuckhead “dougie”), he actually does a good job of bringing the funny)–and this post (wherein he skewers my fellow Caniac WufPirate) is no exception.

And really, I kinda gotta agree with him. Hey, I got the message–declaring that one is a True Anything because of a hatred of one particular team is kinda foolish. I’ve hated the Red Wings since I was 10, does that mean I was a True Whalerfan<tm> before I was a True Caniac<tm>?

Of course not.

It takes neither courage nor intelligence to cheer for a team only when that team wins. The true test of a fan’s mettle is the same as it is for a player: Were you there when you were needed?

–Ian Wilson (proprietor of Boston Bruins Legends, a great site that sadly is no longer extant)

For the pithy-quote-impaired, let me translate: Are you a fan of your team? Did you stick with your team when they blew more chunks than a drunken fratboy after eating a Huge Cheddar-Style (with double extra onion) from Cook-Out and drew low quadruple digits on a Tuesday night against Calgary? Yes? Then you’re a true fan. Get your ass on the bus.

Unless you’re a sports bigamist. Then you need to damn pick a lane and drive in it. Or you need to die in a fire. One of the two.

Oh, those wacky Brits.

One of the more popular programs on British television (and, if you’re lucky, on one of the cable channels late at night)  is “Top Gear”–which, by the way, is one of my favorite shows.

Yes, I do like cars.  Anyway.

The BBC’s series website for Top Gear has lots of fun little videos up for people to watch. One of the funniest videos on there (and there are several very funny videos–like this one where they tried to kill a Toyota pickup) is this one:

Car Hockey

Enjoy.

(lit points to anyone who gets the reference)

And again, in a move that surprised no one, the NHLPA has given Ted Saskin the boot. I am not exactly fond of the ringleaders of the rebellion, but as a trade unionist myself I do think it’s good that the players have decided to finally take control of their union.

Bristolero Scott Burnside weighs in with his opinion on the matter.

Burnside (as usual) doesn’t say much that hasn’t already been said in other places, but one thing he says bears repeating:

Saskin’s replacement is going to have to be somebody different.

Note that I said different. Not a dirtbag like pension-fund pluderer Alan Eagleson, David Frost’s good buddy and agents’ shill Bob Goodenow, or that little weasel Ted Saskin. It’s going to have to be somebody that the players can trust, somebody who will want to actually do right by the players rather than line his own pockets or try to make as much jack as possible for the agents.

There also needs to be a serious top-to-bottom housecleaning in the NHLPA to get rid of anyone who has been in any sort of power there in the last 30 years.

Burn it down and start over, gentlemen.  And give Bobby Orr a shout, too–I have a feeling that he’d be glad to help rebuild the union and do things right.

According to Bristol:

Union reportedly to fire Saskin with cause

ESPN.com news services

Ted Saskin, the long-embattled executive director of the NHL Players Association, is expected to be fired with cause Thursday when NHL player representatives meet by conference call, Toronto media outlets are reporting.

If player reps decide to fire Saskin with cause, it means Saskin will not be paid the estimated $6 million remaining on his contract.

In March, union representatives from the 30 NHL teams voted to have Saskin and NHLPA senior director Ken Kim placed on paid leaves of absence, effective immediately. The vote was prompted by allegations that Saskin ordered the monitoring of NHLPA player e-mails. The e-mail system the players use is administered by the union.

In the ensuing months, the union’s executive board retained outside counsel to address the allegations made against Saskin and Kim to determine whether they have grounds to dismiss them from future compensation.

Saskin has said no illegal activity has gone on at the NHLPA.

Saskin first joined the NHLPA in 1992. He replaced Bob Goodenow as executive director on July 28, 2005, a move that brought protests from player representatives Chris Chelios and former executive committee member Trent Klatt, now retired as a player.

Well, this is really not a surprise–you do wrong, you get pwnt by the heavy hand of rough justice. But my question, my burning question is:

Did the Commissioner know about any of this chicanery?  What did Gary Bettman know, and when did he know it?  This heinous mess is nowhere near done, kids.

Wow, two teams I hate, a team I don’t care one way or the other about, and a team that I actually would like to see win.

My feelings on Detroit and Buffalo are well-known, so I won’t belabor that point any more than I’ve belabored it already (Very amusing to see my inbox get detonated by a couple super thin-skinned people, though).

The Ducks…meh. Their net.representative (Hi Earl) doesn’t understand half of what I post, but then I suppose the same could be said for a lot of people. Ha ha. Anyway.

The last time these two teams met in the playoffs was 2003, when the Ducks swept the Wings en route to their first ever Cup Finals appearance (which, as we all know, they lost in 7 games to the New Jersey Devils). This year’s Ducks team, however, goes in as the second seed in the West–and if they want to win, they’ll have to take at least one game in Detroit (where they struggled this season, losing two low-scoring affairs to the Menses Munchers).

Detroit?  Pfff, they’re Detroit.

I think the Ducks may well take this one in seven.

And in the East, we have a rematch of last season’s second-round contest between Buffalo and Ottawa…only this time around the Sens are the lower seed. This one will be interesting–Buffalo will be trying to reassert their dominance over a team that won the season series with them (The Sens were 5-2-1 against the Sabres in the regular season), and Ottawa….Ottawa will be looking for a shot at redemption for 2003’s chokejob against the Devils and for last season’s complete second-round implosion.

Coin-toss comes up: Edge

So I see you asking me “who’s the team you like in all this, AQ?”

It’s Ottawa, believe it or not. I would be totally okay with the Sens winning their twelfth Cup (and first since their resurrection), for many reasons–not the least of which would be the sound of heads exploding all over Western Ontario, the GTMA, and at LBC errr CBC headquarters. It would be neat–again, in that “Unity of Rings” sort of way–for the present-day Senators to get on the Cup alongside (in a figurative, spiritual sense) their “Silver Seven” forebears.

And despite the impression I give, I fully recognize that hockey is Canada’s game (a gift for which I thank them from the bottom of my heart) and I really would like to see a Canadian champion again.

And who better to break the Canadian Cup drought than the reincarnation of one of the first “legendary” teams?

Go Sens Go.

So–a SlugThug has decided to engage me in the commentbox of this post, claiming that the Hurricanes are “one of the 5 worst champions of the last 20 years” (let me guess, the 1999 Dallas Stars are in that group too, right?) and that “the numbers prove it”. He’s blithely ignored requests from one of my compadres to explain the Sabres’ craptacular record against the Southeast Division in 05-06 by invoking the “everything I say three times is true” rule, and he’s apparently decided to come back and attempt to reassert whatever dominance he thinks he’s already asserted after a two-week hiatus (gee, couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with the Sabres advancing to the ECF now, would it?)

I get what he’s trying to do–he’s trying to browbeat me into “admitting” that the ‘Canes “stole” a Cup that “rightfully” belonged to the Sabres last season. He’s trying to maneuver me into “admitting” that the Hurricanes “didn’t deserve to win” a Cup that “belonged” to the Sabres (even though their team’s name is not now and never has been on it). And that’s not going to happen. That’s never going to happen–and you know why?

Because the team that deserves it is the team that wins it. Always. Breaks or no breaks, great luck or not-so-great luck.

I believe I have mentioned something like this before–not my fault if you choose to disregard it, kids (and hey, whaddaya know, I also said something in the past about acting the fool in another team’s house–hey wow, the more things change…)

You can claim that Buffalo has more thuggish better fans (which makes me laugh, considering that their attendance was worse than the Hurricanes’ at the start of this decade–and the Rigas debacle is not an acceptable excuse, Sabres fans. If the Leafs could sell out their building year after year in the 70s and 80s despite incompetent/criminal ownership and a bottom-feeding team, you should have done the same), you can claim that Buffalo is a festering cesspit a better town, you can claim whatever you want–but the cream always rises to the top, whether one likes it or not. If the Sabres win–and that is still a huge IF, because they haven’t even started the Conference Finals yet much less the Cup Finals–then, obviously, they deserve it despite the genetic sludge that comprises the overwhelming bulk of their fanbase and good for them.

But you can’t have it both ways, bittermen. You can’t claim that the Hurricanes were 2nd in the East only because they play in the Southeast Division without admitting that the Sabres are 1st overall because they played well in the Northeast Division (with an identical divisional record to the 05-06 Hurricanes, I might add: 18-11-3).

You also can’t bash the N&O for trying to cater to n00b fans last season without bashing Buffalo’s mayor for talking this season about how the Sabres have attracted a bunch of n00bs (NYT link, login required) that didn’t follow hockey before.

But I guess none of that counts, since the Hurricanes are south of the Mason-Dixon Line–right?

Riiiight.

Go to Hel, Buffalo–and take the Red Wings with you.