A: When you lead with the shoulder.

We’ve all seen the video and read the reports (and a few message board posts, and a few other blog posts), so we know what happened. On a night when Hall of Fame cheapshot artist Scott Stevens was in the Swamp, Devils thug Cam Janssen decided to line up Maple Leafs defenseman Tomas Kaberle behind the play and level him with a Stevens-style “lead with the shoulder, leave your feet, and follow through with the elbow” hit.

Let’s go to the videotape.

As you can see, Kaberle did not have the puck–it having left his stick a full second before (as opposed to the Neil hit on Briere–which, though iffy, was close enough to the play to be considered a late-stage part of the play*). Janssen left his feet when delivering his check, and you see the elbow come up for the follow-through. Gee, I wonder: where have we seen stuff like this before? At least the dirty little shitbag didn’t stand over the guy gloating.

What galls me is this:

1) No penalty, even though there were officials looking RIGHT THE HELL AT THE HIT. Let’s hear it for referee incompetence! *I* could make a better referee than 90% of the current crop in the NHL….and I can’t even skate!

I quote from Rule 47: Charging (a penalty that never seems to get called, even when it needs to be–like the other night):

Charging shall mean the actions of a player who, as a result of distance traveled, shall violently check an opponent in any manner. A “Charge” may be the result of a check into the boards, into the goal frame or in open ice.

1. A minor or major penalty shall be imposed on a player who skates or jumps into, or charges an opponent in any manner.
2. When a major penalty is imposed under this Rule for a foul resulting in an injury to the face or head of an opponent, a game misconduct shall be imposed, and an automatic fine of one hundred dollars ($100).

Yeah, hello? Some gutless puke lines up a guy behind the play to take him out with a 100-point shoulder-and-elbow combo, and leaves his feet while doing it (for the Devils fans reading-impaired: That’s called “jumping into somebody”)…and there’s no penalty? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Do these guys even read their own damn rulebook?

No wonder the NHL is seen as clownshoes by non-fans–the officials are a bunch of Keystone Kops who are too busy tripping over their skatelaces and showing off their leet non-reffing skillz for the fans that they can’t be bothered to actually enforce the blasted rules.

2) A measly 3-game suspension. Is the “3″ button the only button that Clownshoe Colin knows how to push? Not that I’m still irate over Erik Cole’s broken neck or anything, but hello? WTF was that, Colin? A chicken-bone for the dog? What would it have been if Kaberle’s neck had been broken–five games? Four and a required viewing of a video about workplace injuries?

It’s garbage like this that leaves the NHL relegated to being the fifth of the Big Four Sports–and I don’t see it getting any better while fuckheads like Clownshoe Colin and Gary the Magical Talking Ass are in charge.

(BTW Leafs fans, don’t be surprised at your team’s non-response to this. It’s one of the hallmarks of a Mo-coached team.)