Archive for December, 2006

27
Dec

And speaking of irony…

…Bristol quoted me.

You all know how I loathe Bristol and everything they stand for because of their long-standing feud with my team–but they quoted me in the latest issue of Bristol the Magazine under #26 of the ESPN100 for 2006, right next to Mr. Hockey (which in itself is ironic, because the man finished his career playing for the team whose latter-day incarnation I barrack for).

For those who don’t get the mag, the quote was from this entry from July:

Valo[u]r. I can’t think of this man without that word coming to mind[, not after 2002]. It’s right up there alongside other words used in connection with him: class, dignity, and respect.

The parts they chopped are in brackets. I was going to keep things on the down-low until a few people mentioned it to me either in my commentbox or via IM. So yeah, Bristol quoted me–and they even confirmed with me that I’m a Wings hater even though I said nice things about their now-retired Cap’n.

It’s official: I’m a media whore.

27
Dec

Oh, now that’s funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-HENJTl0G4

To put this video into its proper context (which the maker of that video apparently wasn’t willing to do): The fans had been booing Ovechkin (and hollering a few death threats at him as well, no doubt) from the moment the puck dropped. Briere flagrantly speared Ovechkin in the nards–and naturally, there was no call–and Ovechkin of course stood up for himself…which got the crowd even angrier, because how dare somebody stand up for himself when he gets speared by one of The Glorious Buffalo Sabres?! So Ovechkin went and scored, and performed the gesture you see in that video there.

Good on Ovechkin. Too bad the Capitals weren’t winning at the time, because that would have made it even better–and considering the fact that more than a few fans on various Sabres message boards were calling for the death (or at least the career-ending injury) of Aleksandr Balshoii, I really consider their calling that gesture “classless” to be quite ironic. Kinda like Da Chief asking Wings fans not to boo Sergei Fedorov when the Smoking Jackets come to play at the Nexus of Evil.

And to reheat a previous post;

Scott Nichol received a hip injury in the Predators’ game vs. the Sabres–you know, the one where he got nine games for sucker-punching Jaroslav Spacek after Spacek (who apparently hasn’t changed a bit from when he was cheap-shotting guys as a Florida Panther) rode him hard into the side of the net. So Spacek gets off scot-free for a flagrant attempt to injure, and Nichol gets painted as Todd Bertuzzi v2.0 by SabresNation. Must be nice, huh?

Sheesh.

22
Dec

You cannot be serious

Scott Nichol gets nine games for sucker-punching Jaro Spacek, Erik Cole rolls eyes. Film at 11.

OK, I can see one game, more if there was injury involved. But Spacek wasn’t hurt–so where the fuck did Clownshoe Campbell come up with NINE GAMES?  It wasn’t like anyone’s neck was broken or anything.

Don’t tell me–this was to make up for serial killer Alex Ovechkin’s willful and deliberate attempt to decapitate emo-boy Briere, right?

*shakes head and walks away*

21
Dec

Policy of Tr00f

James Gunner had a post this morning wherein he quotes a spurned Jets fan who’s all up in arms over the NHL bending over backwards to keep the Pittsburgh Penguins where they are when SURELY Winnipeg is CLEARLY a more deserving city than, say, Pittsburgh.

Whatever.

I think that the reason why the League is so all-fired hot to keep the Pens in the ‘Burgh despite the economic hardships is pretty simple:

The Cup.

No Cup-winning team in the post- Great Depression NHL has moved after winning the Cup. It is my opinion that the League is trying to keep the Pens where they are for as long as possible for just that reason–I mean, would you want to be the Commish that blithely allowed a past Cup champ to move without so much as a by-your-leave?

Didn’t think so.

As far as the most rabid of the proponents of moving $US_TEAM to Winnipeg or Hamilton are concerned, there’s a giant conspiracy to keep Canadian cities from having an NHL team–a conspiracy that has little basis in fact as far as I’m concerned, given the state of the Canadian dollar up until a couple years or so ago. At its lowest, the Canadian dollar was worth what, half what a US dollar?  60 cents on the US dollar?  Canada is lucky (and I am thankful–though I know no Canadian will ever believe me) that they only lost 2 teams!

Snark aside, I just want to go on record as saying that I understand how some folks are feeling rather shit on right now (because the Pens are getting consideration that their team(s) didn’t get). But the Big Picture tells me that there is no freaking anti-Canada conspiracy going on in the NHL. The Pens may well wind up moving, barring some sort of a Yuletide Miracle. It may be a “lateral” move to KC, it may well be a northward move to Winnipeg–who knows?

But the League should keep trying to find an owner for the team who’ll keep the Pens where they are, and to Hel with the whiners.

19
Dec

Need some help here….

I am sick and tired of fighting with the hubby over hockey on teh DVR, and I don’t want to have to wait 2 weeks for a ‘Canes game to get posted to Google Video–so I turn to all four of you, my adoring public:

Help me pick out a TV card, peeps.  Preferably one that won’t go tits-up on me and show nothing but a blue screen and/or totally distorted video (followed three days later by a blue screen) after two weeks.

17
Dec

Sunday Comics

OMFG A WIN

Before I continue: I am greatly amused by the Sabres fan that not only took umbrage at my unwillingness to declare Alex Ovechkin Public Enemy #1 in this post here, but then turned around and effectively called his own co-captain a diver while bitching at me for using the term “a not-inconsiderable dash of embellishment”. Note that I at no time in that post do I laud Ovechkin for being foolish. Should he have gotten a suspension? No–Briere missed what, a shift of ice time? How is that suspension-worthy?

Had the little emo-kid left the game and wound up being diagnosed with a compression fracture of his third cervical vertebra because he was pile-driven at speed head-first into the boards by somebody with a long history of making such callously careless hits, then of course Ovechkin should have gotten a suspension of much longer than three games (not that Clownshoe Colin would ever dole out such a suspension, mind you).

Get over it, you whining crybabies–Briere wasn’t hurt, the refs made the correct call in the game, and life goes the fuck on. I’m officially done with this topic.

MOVING ALONG TO FAR MORE IMPORTANT (to me) THINGS:

The Hurricanes beat the Tampa Bay Lightning last night, 3-2–a few more games like that and Marc Denis will officially be the Hurricanes’ bitch. Cory Stillman gave me (and ChuckandtheletterK) a scare in the first period when he took a hit and went to the bench wincing. Did he re-injure his shoulder? Oh noes!

Personally, I think he did tweak it a mite and just played through it. I suspect we’ll know more come Tuesday in Philadelphia–where Peter Forsberg came back for a whopping 5:39 before Alex Ovechkin and Dainius Zubrus’ right knee sent him right back to the IR with a clean, legal open-ice hit and an unfortunate circumstance of time and place that combined to give Peter the Great a concussion.

(I note at this point that there is great irony in a Swede being given the nickname of a Tsar that went to war with Sweden, and also in that Swede being undone by both a Russian and a Lithuanian.)

Tuesday night, I more than likely work (since I’m off vacation as of 3 PM tomorrow). But I’ll be DVRing the game and will have lots of lovely anger to spread around, I’m sure.

Happy Sunday, kids.

15
Dec

Three years ago today…

…I was sitting in my little grey Toyota listening to 850 the Buzz for confirmation that yes indeed, Chairman Mo had been deposed after his too-long tenure behind the Hurricanes’ bench.

I was, of course, not disappointed–nor was I unsurprised by Adam Gold’s whining that the Hurricanes were making a mistake by firing the guy and hiring some “unknown” named Peter Laviolette. Of course, this is the same guy that bashed the Hurricanes left right and center for the bulk of of the team’s existence here in North Carolina (and would cut off and proceed to insult on the air anyone who called in to disagree with him), so nothing came as a surprise to me with that guy. The ‘Canes were making a mistake, Paul Maurice is a great coach, they shouldn’t have fired him, blah blah blah Scotty Bowman blah blah blah….

Yes, he really did make a Scotty Bowman comparison–conveniently ignoring the fact that Bowman had been fired at least twice in his career (most notably by Buffalo).

(note to any 850 the Buzz fanbois that are tempted to call me out on this: I am many things, but I am not a liar. Just because Adam Gold is a revisionist, that doesn’t mean that I have to be.)

Toolbag Junior also whined and cried that the ‘Canes had made a big mistake–and those of us that knew better laughed at him.

So three years and a Stanley Cup later, what do I think of it all?

I think it was a decision that had been too long delayed. A Stanley Cup does little to negate a corporate culture where slavish loyalty is more valued than excellence and where those who do mediocre-at-best work are retained long past the point where they should be let go in favor of somebody who can at least try to do a better job. I love my team, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind to the organization’s faults.

I never had a problem with Mo personally–he’s a good guy and all–but his tenure here was a serious case of arrested development. Being retained for so long in a job where the average shelf-life of a coach averages about four seasons was a bad thing for him, especially because he was just thrown into the job without having had the opportunity to really learn from a more experienced coach. It was an exercise in LR2: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Collapsing defense, 3-2 forecheck that was so textbook that quite a few more experienced coaches could (and did) beat it with astonishing regularity, and veterans ridden into the ground while promising rookies were left to languish on the fourth line (if they were lucky) or in the stands (if they weren’t lucky) until circumstance forced the Great Helmsman to use them.

Sami Kapanen, anyone?  In Hartford, he was left to die on the vine as a checking wing on the fourth line until injuries forced Chairman Mo to put the then-rookie in on the top two lines, where he could show off his scoring skills. Shane Willis is another good example. Chairman Mo was never a big fan of his, because the kid wasn’t very defensively-minded. He was a scorer, and that was something that wasn’t exactly in vogue on a team where “we don’t need to score any more goals” and stifling defense was the watch-word. Guys like Jaro Svoboda were the big thing for us, because they were defensively-minded. We fans used to joke that our team never scored much because the players were afraid they’d get benched if they scored–and sadly, it seemed to be true when guys that had a big night one night would get benched the next night.
Man, I still remember a holiday get-together where I got into an argument with a friend over Lavi. “Laviolette SUCKS,” she said. “We give up WAY too many goals!  That’s not good!  He’s a horrible coach!”

“Have you seen that we’re scoring more goals?”  I asked. “Your boy Joe, Lord of Evil is on the way to a 20-goal season. Never would have seen that with Chairman Mo. Yeah, we give up a lot of goals–but that’s the way the system works.” What we saw in that first season was the burning-away of 8 years of smoke-and-mirrors. Fans were, after 8 seasons, so used to defensive snore-fests that seeing actual offensive output (and aggressive offense, at that) was a huge surprise. Pleasant for a lot, hard to adjust to for some, but it makes for a far more exciting game.

I come not to praise Chairman Mo, but to finally–at long last–close the door that part of the team’s past. Win or lose, I think that this game is something that will let the fans finally say goodbye (or “good riddance”, if you prefer) to the coach that bridged two eras of the team’s existence.

Lots are already open as I write this, doors open at 6:00, and the puck drops at 7:30 (at the request of Rogers Sportsnet–is there a NASCAR race going on again?)

Go Canes.

13
Dec

Monday Night at the Can

WELL.

Monday night, I got to witness the Hurricanes’ full-on collapse at the Can from Section 353. It was fun, finally getting to go to a game with The Pregnant Motie Warrior.

Pepsi Center: Very nice. The flash didn’t cooperate with me very well, so all my pictures of the concourses turned out like crap except for this one:

 CHEAPER THAN RALEIGH

Cheaper than the RBC, if you can believe that. Wow.

Here’s my sister (trust me, she normally looks better than this):

The Pregnant Motie Warrior

I took that picture right after Justin Williams tied the game 1-1.

I wish I could tell you what happened to the ‘Canes in the third period, other than that they tried to be cute–and, of course, failed miserably. During first intermission, I heard “You must be the Acid Queen.”  And looked over to my right to see Tapeleg’s smiling face. We rapped during first and second intermissions, and then a little after the game–cool cat.

The crowd at the Pepsi Center is D to the U to the L mothafunkin’ L compared to what I’m used to at the RBC. At the RBC there’s a constant level of crowd noise, but at the Can it’s just dead–except for the cat behind me who kept hollering “RUN ‘EM INTO THE BOARDS!  SOMEBODY FIGHT!” the whole game. I guess that proves that there are yokels everywhere.

My camera died shortly after I took a picture of David Tanabe sitting in the press box with Jason Karmanos–the Warchief was down in the locker room working out (unless he took a break from that too–which I can’t picture). Yeah. Wasn’t real impressed.

Some other pictures from the first period:

Crackers by himself

Crackers watching the play in the neutral zone at about the 5-minute mark of the first.

This is shortly before the Avs’ first goal.

And this is right after:

Blah.

The overall experience was pretty nice–the fans were really cool, didn’t give me a lot of crap. I didn’t feel like I was taking my life into my hands by wearing my ‘Canes jersey there, fortunately–so the Can is added to my list of arenas that I can feel safe in (next to the X in St. Paul and the Phone Booth in DC).

I’m trying to score tickets to Friday’s game at the RBC. With luck I’ll have a report on the Great Helmsman’s return to the RBC three years to the day after his firing.

12
Dec

This subject line for rent.

Part of me really wanted to insert a Beavis and Butt-head joke in here, but it’s just not appropriate.

 Yeah, me talking about propriety–next thing you know, the Hurricanes will win the Stanley Cup.

 …

Anyway. As the whole hockey world has heard by now, Boston Bruins rookie Phil Kessel has (according to Boston’s CBS affiliate ) been diagnosed with testicular cancer (the same kind that Lance Armstrong had). According to TSN, he’s been treated–but I suspect that the treatment is still ongoing, because even with surgery cancer can come back hardcore.

Fuck, that poor guy.

Cancer is something that I’m very familiar with, myself–no, I haven’t had it. But I’ve lost both my maternal grandparents, an uncle, and two of my great-grandparents to it. One of my aunts is currently in remission, and my sister has to get Pap smears done every six months to see if she’s got cervical cancer. So I know what cancer can do to a family. It’s something that I don’t like seeing anyone go through.

Get well soon, Phil–and more importantly, be well for a good long time. I’ll be prayin’ for you.

11
Dec

VICTORY FOR ZIM!

I was all set to make this big ol’ post about tonight’s game and meeting Tapeleg and having a good time with my sister (despite the ‘Canes getting wtfpwnt), complete with pictures–but then I got the following e-mail from hockeygirl (proprietrix of double d(ion) ):

 Subj: Look!

Hey

Unless there is another Acid Queen, Ovie answered your questions:

http://www.nhl.com/blogcentral/kukla_dec.html#121106

nice.

And all the words vanished from my little screen because I was too busy laughing to think straight. Thanks Paul, for making my night. Just too funny.

 So tomorrow I’ll post about the game.

 

09
Dec

Grr. Arrgh.

Great, now the ‘Canes don’t win unless I’m at home in my computer room listening to ChuckandtheletterK while I play Dark Age of Camelot–but by Thunder they’ll come roaring back from 3-0 if I go to bed!

 Sheesh.

Actually, I’m not really upset about last night–I’m more annoyed with the ign’ant wankstain on teh LGC who insists that every injury the Hurricanes suffer is 100% intentional on the part of our opponents. Please, if I wanted to listen to sad “ZOMG EVERYONEZ OUT 2 GET US!!!1″ conspiracy theories, I’d go talk to some Canadiens fans about Justin Williams.

 So, what’s wrong with the ‘Canes?  Hell if I know–but I do know that there’s going to have to be some kind of change made soon, and that it’ll more than likely involve a fan-favorite player. For some reason, I keep seeing KAdams as part of a trade equation, but I guess we’ll see won’t we?

Anyway, about last night. It was a comedy of errors up until I got knocked on my ass by a combination of tramadol and Harvey’s went to bed. THEN the ‘Canes decided to show the Hel up and start playing. Thanks guys, way to make me feel confident about Monday night’s game (which I will be at with The Pregnant Motie Warrior). I’ve got the camera with, so I’ll have pictures to post after the game–hopefully it’ll be a ‘Canes win.

We’ll see.

07
Dec

I got nothin’.

And, apparently, the Canes got nothin’ either–though really, last night’s game did have kind of a full-circle Unity of Rings feel to it.

 I wish I could say I was angry about the game, but really I’m not. Not a lot gets me angry, this season. Do I think that we’ll have another Season From Hell?  No. But we’re obviously not as good as last season for whatever reason. Maybe JR let the wrong guys walk. Maybe he traded the wrong guys. Maybe, maybe, maybe–all I know is that this year’s team is “missing something”.

Sometimes I feel like the ‘Canes are the kid in “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” who comes up to the rib shack and digs through his pockets. He slaps this big-ass roll of Benjamins down on the counter, then breaks out this big handful of change that he’s poking through before finally saying that he wants one rib.

I mean, seriously–they can get the full order of ribs, but this season it’s like they’re trying to spend just pocket change to nickel-and-dime rather than going for the full experience. Some down here are invoking the ghosts of Islanders past, when Lavi apparently lost the Isles because of his “go hard or go home” philosophy–but I’m not seeing that the same thing is happening here. I’m not seeing it at all. Maybe we should look at the 05-06 Lightning instead, who were like “yeeeeah, we won the Cup, we don’t have to do anything now”. Except, of course, for the fact that the ‘Canes are treating their Captain better than the Bolts treated theirs.

Do I think a trade will help?  Possibly–but who do we trade?

06
Dec

This is not a liveblog.

I’m at my sister’s house in Denver–yes, I arrived safely (sorry to disappoint y’all)–listening to the game with The Flea on my lap.

This stream-of-consciousness post goes from 8 PM to whenever I stop writing it.

 After the first period, it’s scoreless and the ‘Canes feel to me like they’re rebounded from last night’s crapfest in Cowtown. ChuckandtheletterK is being very complimentary of Edmonton, which is very nice to hear. I may not be in the Oilers’ fold anymore, but I’ll always have some degree of love for them.

 Second Period:

 Man, I leave for 30 seconds to get a Diet Coke and hand The Flea off to Emo-Boy, and the Oilers score. Bah. ‘Canes are now on the penalty kill–hard to tell who did what without the visual aid that is TV. Nevermind, Hedican for high-sticking Marty Reasoner. Oy vey.

Good kill guys, let’s get it back. Interesting comment from ChuckandtheletterK that the Warchief considered last night’s debacle in Cowtown to be the worst game he’s ever played.

Goal–Hands of Feet!  Woo!  Beauty pass by Eric Belanger off the face-off.  Now it sounds like both teams have settled in for some trench warfare. Blegh.

 (dinner break)

And of course, I get up and the Oilers score. >.<

TPMW and Emo-Boy are fixin’ to head to the liquor store–do I go with, or stay and listen to the rest of the game?  Decisions, decisions.

 Aww man, Pisani scored. 3-1 Oilers–and the Warchief’s hurt. Seriously (If it’s bad enough to keep him out of the lineup, it’s bad).

OK, heading to the liquor store. I’ll have some more thoughts once I get back.

05
Dec

OK, now that was bad.

So I’m watching the DVRed Flames-Canes game tonight, and all I can think (besides “STFU, Tripp”) is “Tyr’s right buttock, the ‘Canes are playing like ass tonight.”

The more I watch this, the more convinced I am that the ‘Canes all got off the plane somewhere around Des Moines and the Pod People took their place. The power play is still junk, the players all skated like they were slogging through knee-deep mud, and I haven’t seen this much futility from a defensive corps since the Capitals lit up the Panthers 12-2 about five-odd years ago.

Ugh. Just ugh.

I’ll be doing my best to liveblog tonight’s game from my sister’s house–though it’ll pry be courtesy of ChuckandtheletterK’s radiocast, since I don’t think that Emo-Boy and The Pregnant Motie Warrior have Center Ice (which makes me sad). Puck drops at 7 MST.

More thoughts on the season so far once I’m on the ground in Denver. Go Canes.

03
Dec

Hey look, there’s a hornet’s nest! Somebody gimme a bat!

So I get home from work last night, and what do I find in my inbox but a link to this lovely video that’s been played like 2349827432 times all over cyberspace:

Click Me

I had to go back and watch it a couple times to see where Ovechkin got the fighting major, seeing as how he was kinda blindsided by Fargo’s Finest and all. As for the hit itself? Ill-timed, but not delivered with ill intent.

Ignoring the blatant homerism of the Crapitals’ broadcast team (especially that freakish Breughelsian quasit Craig Laughlin) in that clip wasn’t hard to do–all I had to do was turn the sound off–but I am forced to conclude that the hit wasn’t so much dirty (which implies malice) as it was a serious case of poor timing (door being opened) coupled with poor judgement (Ovechkin attempting to rub out Briere away from the play) and a not-inconsiderable dash of embellishment from the Sabres’ emo-kid co-captain.

What really makes this whole thing laughably sad (aside from SabresNation screaming for Ovechkin to have his head taken off the next 9328472947 times the Caps and Sabres meet) is the dollar amount of the fines handed out. $100? I could pay that. The League needs to get on the stick with updating their fines so that they’re actually punishing the fined players rather than simply asking them to cover a dinner at Les Halles.

Of course, this all gets back to the sad inability of the NHL to be able to dish out any kind of real justice–Colin Campbell is, once again, a clownshoe (and his son is a douche)–and that’s a subject for another post.

Just my opinion, of course.

03
Dec

Vacation, all I ever wanted (placeholder post)

FINALLY, I get to take a vacation. I get to catch up on DVRed games (at least, the ones that didn’t get deleted in favor of Surface reruns) and finally make some comments about the state of the team so far before I hie off to Denver to visit The Flea (and his parents, The Pregnant Motie Warrior and Emo-Boy).

The Flea

Carolina Hurricanes third-round draft pick, 2024 Entry Draft. Mark your calendars now!

(By the way, since all four of you were stumped by the last post’s subjectline: The line was from The Frantics’ “Ti Kwon Leep” sketch)




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