Sweet Tea, Barbecue, and Bodychecks

And now that the love for the land of my paternal ancestors is out of the way, on to more important things:

Like the jerseys.

CasonBlog summed it all up pretty well–the Swift(tm) jerseys were pretty nasty. At first I didn’t mind the Team Canada ones so much, but now that I’ve actually seen them in competition? Uhhh….no. They are bad, bad, all damn different KINDS of bad. That wouldn’t necessarily preclude me from getting a Czech Republic Swift(tm) jersey with the Serene Master’s name on it and framing it, but damned if I’d squeeze something like that over my jutting turrets.

And the Team USA jerseys? The dark ones? Gave me Vietnam flashbacks. I saw them and thought I was back in Da Nang getting shot in the ass by a sniper–oh wait, that was my father. But you get the picture. Give me the old-skool jerseys, like the ones the Swedes wore. Something with a little more to them than a “practice jersey” look. Something distinctive. Something with room to move, yanno?

What’s next–the players all wear bodysuits like the speed skaters? That would up the beefcake factor a good bit for some of the more tele/photogenic blokes (which will probably gain more casual viewership from the ladies and the gay community), but the thought of somebody like that numbnut Mo Cheese (For the uninformed: he’s the super-sized zhlub with plumber’s butt that does a stupid dance in the stands at the Nexus of Evil errr Joe Louis Arena while wearing a Stanley Cup on his head) deciding to wear one of those just scares the piss out of me. There are some things that man was just not meant to know, and that’s one of them.

*shudder*

The stars will never be right enough for that, kids. Ever.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Flyers captain Keith Primeau is expected to announce in about an hour that he’s done for the season, after his latest concussion (which came to him courtesy of the Montreal Canadiens’ Aleksandr Perezhogin way back in October). How many is this for him? Five? Six? Perhaps it’d be better for the guy to retire, for the sake of his health. I mean, at his age even next season is going to be iffy–it’d be better for him to retire, at this point.

And no, Flyers fans, I am not bitter about his holdout or anything–nor do I take any sides in the “who won the Primeau trade” debate. So you’re more than welcome to spare me claims of jealousy or bitterness because you have Primeau and the ‘Canes don’t.

Prayers and best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery go out to Mario Lemieux, who underwent a cather ablation procedure yesterday to alleviate his cardiac arrhythmia.

A question for my Alberta readers: Does the WCLC have a lottery whose proceeds go to help support the Oilers and the Flames? Or am I on crack?

Now that the fiesta is over and the torch is extinguished, it’s time to get back to work. Go Canes.

Now that it’s all over but the crying (if you’re Mike Modano), it’s time for the post-mortem.

First question: Why did USA Hockey bring in the disinterested vets?

In every game I watched, the only guys who seemed to give a damn were the young guys–guys like Liles, Cole, DiPietro (bless him, he really tried), Blake–and the older guys who really did have some pride in playing for Team USA (Bret Hedican, I’m talking to you). Nobody else really gave me the impression that they gave a shit out there. I understand that there’s a dearth of US-born players in the NHL (right now) that could be considered Olympic-caliber, but still. Bates Battaglia would have been a better choice than Keith freaking Tkachuk or any of the rest of the Nagano holdovers that were named to Team USA, and that’s saying something.

Next question: Can some of the blame be placed on the coach?

Yes and no. I don’t fault Laviolette for anything except expecting his players to work and for being a little too inflexible. The guys that have played for him before (or that have played for him since December 2003) knew what was expected of them, and they went for it. The rest were pretty much just there for the lasagna, and expected that since there’d be NHL refs they could get away with the same shit that they get away with in the NHL (Chelios, I’m talking to you).

So….what now?

USA Hockey is largely a volunteer organization. They don’t have umpty-ump dollars to throw around, so they only get people that actually want to work for them. Laviolette wasn’t paid, nor was Waddell–whose job as GM is probably toast thanks to his poor selection decisions. Lavi, I think, will be back–there are enough guys that think highly enough of him (and that’ll be around in 2010) that he stands a good chance of returning as coach. Why? Because he cares. He cared enough to shorten his bench in the game against Finland in the hopes that the players he threw out there would get the hint and maybe pull something out. He cared enough to call a time-out before the game got out of hand and attempt to rally his troops. He cares–but without more guys like Erik Cole and Jason Blake and John-Michael Liles that care as much as he does, Team USA’s outlook for 2010 isn’t very rosy.

So I agree with Mike Modano’s comment that there needs to be a change in USA Hockey–but the change that is needed is getting rid of primadonnas like him that think that just because they play in the NHL the rest of the world should roll over and play dead for them.

And as for the Canadian team…..

Well shit. Jes says it all for me.

Go Czechs, Go Swedes.

No really, I mean that.

I pulled up my e-mail today, and this lovely bit of solicitation was in it:

After visiting your Web Site (http://acidqueen5426.blogspot.com/ ) TicketsSport would be interested in advertising with you. Our advertisement format is generally 15 words containing 2-3 text links, which we provide. You would be able to place the ad anywhere on your home page. I would send payment in full (either by check or PayPal) shortly after our links are posted on your site.

Please respond by email if you are interested in this business opportunity.

I look forward to hearing back from you

Dan Siwak

TicketsSport.com

WELL.

I decided to jander over to Danny-boy’s site and check it out–and lo and behold, what do I see?

Club-level seats at the RBC Center going for $169 a pop (face value is $65).
Seats in the third level going for $35 a pop (they’re $12)
Seats in the lower bowl going for anywhere from $75 to $188 a piece (the most expensive ticket in the lower bowl is $125–and that’s if you’re sitting right on the glass).

And don’t even get me started on the prices they’re asking for college ball tickets. $2000 for one seat in Cameron Indoor Stadium?

Can we say “gross violation of Paragraph 14-4 of the North Carolina General Statutes”, kids? To wit:

“Any person, firm, or corporation shall be allowed to add a reasonable service fee to the face value of the tickets sold, and the person, firm, or corporation which sells or resells such tickets shall not be permitted to recoup funds greater than the combined face value of the ticket, tax, and the authorized service fee. This service fee may not exceed three dollars ($3.00) for each ticket except that a promoter or operator of the property where the event is to be held and a ticket sales agency may agree in writing on a reasonable service fee greater than three dollars ($3.00) for the first sale of tickets by the ticket sales agent. This service fee may be a pre-established amount per ticket or a percentage of each ticket. The existence of the service fee shall be made known to the public by printing or writing the amount of the fee on the tickets which are printed for the event.”

Last I checked, TicketsSport wasn’t Ticketmaster–who, by the way, is the authorized seller of tickets for Your Carolina Hurricanes. Thanks for the “opportunity”, Danny, but I will not be a party to either lawbreaking or highway robbery–mostly because I have personal objections to dirtbags like you scalpers, and partly because I’m an NC resident and don’t feel like getting arrested because of your scumbucketry.

Please take your “opportunity” and stuff it.

Go Tinu!

Wonderful showing by the Italians today, too. Good job on tying the Krauts, boys.

Actually, don’t bother.

You’ve all heard about it by now–Bryant Gumbel opened his big yap on HBO’s Real Sports and blasted the Winter Olympics because there are so few black athletes participating (even though there have been more and more black athletes taking part in the games over the last 20 years). He said, among other things, that the greatest athletes in the world aren’t participating and that therefore he finds it boring.

Yeah.

Yes, I do think his comments are racist–but as Eric McErlain pointed out, Gumbel’s notorious for pursuing a double-standard. So I’m sure you’ll understand why I’m electing to just point and laugh instead of getting a bug up my ass about this.

OK, so I’m busy watching my beloved Azzuri (backstopped by former Whaler Jason Muzzatti) get kicked around like a hacky-sack, when I see the following headline on TSN:

Moore Files Lawsuit

Uhhh….Steve. US$15Million? What color’s the sky in your world? Can you break me off a hit or two of that acid your lawyer’s got you dropping? Seriously, man–help a sister out here, willya?

Whatever–I’ve said all I’m going to say about this topic some months ago, so Ima move on now.

ObTSNHatred:Scott Cullen is still a toolbag. Either your power rankings look at a week during the season (where the Sens have been average after coming out hot), or they deal with the whole fucking season (where the Hurricanes got hot and have so far stayed hot). Pick a lane and drive in it and stop making excuses, you douche.

And stop being such a patronizing wankstain with the people that mail you, you patronizing wankstain.

Next stop:

Latvia really gave the Yanquis a run for their money today–this was a very exciting game with two teams that played quite well, and Arturs Irbe was…well, he was (as the Latvians say) ka muris (I think I’m missing a diacritical marking in there somewhere–my apologies to any Latvian readers). I really miss that little man.

I’m also happy about the Czechs beating the Jerries today, too–though part of me is hoping that Germany makes it to the medal round just so I can see them play the Czechs, have it go to an epic shootout, and then Marek Malik pwns Kolzig in the 15th round….again.

Just because it would be funny to see.

Sheeeet, mang–I think I am happy for this break, because after today’s game I could use a rest.

And it’ll be nice to just have some time to digest everything that’s happened so far this season, Hurricanes-wise.

Will post again in a couple days. Go Canes.

You were all waiting for the resident Darren McCarty fangirl (that being me) to post this link, weren’t you?

http://media.putfile.com/Grinder

I saw this and about fell right damn outta my chair. I bet he was jammin’ to “Moskau”.

OK, I’m going to take some time to engage in a little more mental digestion before I comment again on Wagergate. I have several things on my mind, there’s a lot of information coming in, and I want to be able to see what else happens before I weigh in on the issue again.

Unlike Jes Golbez, I do think that this is a big deal–but I also think that it would be good for all of us bloggers to take a step back for a while and turn our attention to other things.

So–I present to you two things that will be a regular (even daily) feature of this space:

The CanesWatch for 9 February 2006

The Carolina Hurricanes currently have 80 points, are 1st in the Southeast Division and 1st in the NHL.

Tonight, they take on division rivals Tampa Bay (LET’S GO HURRICANES!)

And since Jason Kirk has, sadly, decided to retire his Predators blog, I present on his behalf:

The PredsWatch for 9 February 2006

The Nashvile Predators currently have 72 points, are 2nd in the Central Division and 3rd on points in the Western Conference.

Tonight, they take on division rivals Detroit (LET’S GO PREDATORS!)

And there you go.

Today at work, I was thinking about my post yesterday, where I mentioned Mario Lemieux in connection with Wagergate–and now that I think about it the more I find myself convinced that Mario isn’t a part of this….or that if he is, it’s only because he found out that Mark Recchi was part of Rick Tocchet’s gambling ring (which would explain the trade rumors that have suddenly arisen involving Rex–Mario’s gotta keep the team’s image as clean as possible so he can get buyers in Pittsburgh and get that arena deal done.

Wayne, OTOH…..

Which brings me to the next part of today’s post.

Jes Golbez has got a bug up his ass about everyone who’s going “oh noes!” over Wagergate. Specifically, he doesn’t see what the big deal is and that people are getting their knickers in a wad over nothing.

I can understand that–after all, he lives in BC and votes NDP. (just messin’ with you, Jes)

On various message boards, there are some that are taking a similar tack and claiming that anyone who’s ever wagered anything on anything has no right to comment–and (in a couple cases) that, moreover, the gambling laws in this country are stupid anyway and should be repealed.

That’s all well and good, but issues that we fans may or may not have with the law aside:

This is NOT a good thing for the League–period. Even if an investigation shows beyond a reasonable doubt that no betting on hockey occurred, there will still be hints and allegations and whispers that just maybe inside information was given to bookies or bettors to influence wagers, or that just maybe there was some payoff occurring somewhere to influence the outcome of a crucial game.

Even if it never happened, there’s always going to be that dark cloud hanging over the players involved, the teams involved, and the NHL in general because of the possible mob ties and the image that “under-the-table” betting has (again, because of links to organized crime).

The idiocy of Todd Bertuzzi, Marty McSorely, and Dale Hunter (which Jes brings up in his post) is nothing compared to this, nothing. I mean, those three incidents were considered “black eyes” on the League–but at least what happened was all out there, was in public and witnessed by thousands of people, and was caught on tape. This, however, is different because it wasn’t conducted in public. So unless the League does something serious in response to this to distance themselves from the people involved–even Wayne Gretzky, if it comes to that–then I really do think that there will be some serious and potentially irreparable damage done to what little image the NHL has left.

Just my 1/50 of a dollar.

As more information comes out in dribs and drabs about the Rick Tocchet betting scandal, the more afraid I am for the future of the NHL.

See, it’s not the gambling thing that bugs me–much. Individuals placing bets in Vegas, making small-change wagers with friends (a la “Betcha one of your Camel Twists that the Steelers won’t score on this drive”), that kind of thing–that’s one thing.

But this….this is huge. It’s a big-time gambling ring set up across state lines. I mean, fuck–organized crime is involved. How damn stupid do you have to be to get all caught up with that mess?

OK, so according to sources there’s an owner involved–all signs point to Wayne Gretzky (just cos his wife placed wagers with the ring), but for some reason I don’t think so. Some are praying that Chicago Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz is the owner involved in the ring, but Wirtz is smarter than that. He’s a crook and a dirtbag–but he’s untouchable in the Land of Lincoln, thanks to having most of the legislature and more than a few law enforcement types in his pocket–were he involved with a gambling ring, he’d never take it across state lines where the Feds could nab him.

My gut says it’s Mario. He’s the one owner in the most tenuous position financially (as far as his team is concerned), and his behaviour lately regarding the viability of his team in the ‘Burgh has been quite puzzling. You’d think that he’d be doing a lot more work to try to keep the Pens in their home, but I’m just not seeing it.

Honestly? I hope I’m wrong–but I’ve a sinking feeling that I’ll turn out to be right and that I’ll be watching Hodr hurl the mistletoe dart at the heart of his brother.

Sound the horn, Heimdall. The fire giants are on the march.

Well. I get off work this morning, come home to take a nap, and I wake up to see this:

Coyotes’ Assistant Coach accused in multi-state gambling ring

Wow. How damn stupid do you have to be to get involved with something like that? I mean, really.

According to reports, about a half-dozen players are named as participants in the ring–two names that have come out so far (thanks to a station in Philly) are:

Mark Recchi
and the real kick in the nads–

Janet Jones.

You know, Wayne Gretzky’s wife?

And of course, good ol’ Jeremy Roenick is probably going to be implicated–if noted degenerate bettor Jaromir Jagr ISN’T involved in this, I’ll be surprised.

There’s also an ugly rumor floating around that a GM is involved–but that comes from Eklund the Fraud and not from any legitimate source, so I’m going to go ahead and file that under “bullshit until reported by someplace with some credibility”.

OK, so according to all reports that have come out so far, none of the current NHLers involved have bet on hockey. That still doesn’t change the fact that not only have they broken the law (and probably an NHLPA bylaw or three), but it’s also in the process of giving the NHL yet another huge black eye–and how does it look for the Penguins, given that one of the individuals whose name has come out so far is currently sitting on their roster?

Brace yourselves, folks. We’re about to be in for one hell of a bumpy ride.

Ottawa Sun columnist Erin Nicks levels her guns at the Golden Child this week:

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Hockey/NHL/Pittsburgh/2006/02/05/1427090-sun.html

Yanno what? I agree with her. I’m sure that Sid’s a nice kid and all–but come on, people. The amount of excusemaking that people have been engaging in for the kid’s behaviour this season is absolutely mind-boggling.

I’m sorry, but if it was (for example) Aleksandr Ovechkin whining and crying like Sid’s been doing, fans, the mediots north of 49, and Don freaking Cherry (who is in a class all by himself) would have been all over him like white on rice.

Ovechkin should be the poster boy for the New NHL. This is a guy who just loves to play and doesn’t give a rat’s ass that his team is in the freaking basement–give him a stick and a pair of skates and point him to the ice, and he’s a happy camper. So what if his English isn’t that great? I met the guy in Raleigh–his English is miles better now than it was in 2004, trust me. He’s a smart guy, he’s personable, wickedly skilled, and he loves what he does and does well no matter how the Capitals are doing.

Or, as he once put it: “So? I’ve got Halpern and (lists off 5 other teammates).”

Sure, he’s a little on the arrogant side (and he freely admits it, so perhaps he’s not quite so arrogant)–but the dude is wise enough to know what’s up and that he’s responsible for himself and what he does, and he’s a team player.

Sid can’t say that–and yet the chances are good that he’ll be getting the Calder Trophy in June. Yet another accolade that he hasn’t earned.

http://www.usahockey.com/usa_hockey/main_site/main/home/hedican_taxi1/Hedican_Replaces_Mil/

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Monday, February 6, 2006

Bret Hedican To Replace Injured Aaron Miller On

2006 U.S. Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey Team

Team USA Names Martin, Cullen and Ryan Miller To “Taxi Squad”

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Bret Hedican (St. Paul, Minn.) of the Carolina Hurricanes will replace the injured Aaron Miller (Buffalo, N.Y.) of the Los Angeles Kings on the 2006 U.S. Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey Team it was announced today by Don Waddell, general manager of Team USA.

“We feel bad for Aaron that he’s unable to be part of the team,” said Waddell. “At the same time we’re extremely fortunate to be able to replace Aaron with someone the caliber of Bret Hedican.”

Hedican has logged 18 points (5-13) in 51 games with Carolina this season while averaging more than 20 minutes played per game. He last put on a USA jersey at the 2001 International Ice Hockey Federation World Championship, where he scored two goals and had two assists in nine games for the U.S. Men’s National Team.

Waddell also announced that Matt Cullen (Virginia, Minn.) of the Carolina Hurricanes; Paul Martin (Elk River, Minn.) of the New Jersey Devils; and Ryan Miller (East Lansing, Mich.) of the Buffalo Sabres will make up Team USA’s “taxi squad” for the XX Olympic Winter Games in Torino, Italy.

The players will be available as potential replacements for Team USA members injured during the course of the Olympic Games.

Hoody hoo!

Is there a copy of the CBA available for public perusal yet? I want some light bedtime reading, here.

Well OK, I really want something to poke through when I have to babysit the store while the floors are getting their annual strip-n-wax.

Anyway. I occasionally like to watch opposing teams’ broadcasts of Hurricanes games on Center Ice, because I like to see how the “other half” lives, broadcastwise–and if I never have to watch an NESN feed of a Boston game again, it’ll be too soon. My gods, does Jack Edwards ever pay attention to any other team? How can he call Gerber “Wildly inconsistent” when he’s been nails for us (after a rough first game) this season? Whatever. I thought he was a boob when he worked for Bristol, and I still think he’s a boob.

And I wish people would just STFU about people like Eric Bresee at KUTV in Salt Lake City, who called for the contraction of pretty much every team south of the Mason-Dixon Line and gave no justification at all for it. It’s pretty obvious to anyone with half a braincell (which is more than Bresee has) that the guy just says what he says because he’s an attention-whore. I really don’t think the guy has watched a single NHL game this season, aside from the 239872498724 Red Wings/Rangers/Flyers/Avs/Devils games that OLN is showing. Therefore, he has no right to comment about anything as far as I’m concerned.

And then we have this very amateurishly-written (and spammed-to-Helheim-and-back) petition regarding the pending redesign of NHL team sweaters. Now, while I am no fan of the redesign, I am even less of a fan of a “petition” that is not only poorly-written but also spammed across 90% of the hockey boards in existence. Though I will say that I’ll have a blast cracking Star Trek jokes at the practice jerseys for Team Canada.

“Warp Speed, Mr. Jovanovski!”

In other news, Bret Hedican is on Team USA for Turin 2006, thanks to Aaron Miller’s wonky back, and Matt Cullen is on the taxi squad after a herculean recovery from a busted jaw–at least, according to a Canadian Press report and TSN. No official word yet, thus no official celebratory post from yours truly.

If I win the lottery, I’m opening a Tim Horton’s down here just so I can have Timbits with my coffee. I think I’ve said this before. I also want Herr’s ketchup-flavored potato chips (since Lay’s doesn’t market their ketchup chips south of 49, AFAIK). Damn they’re good. I could eat them all day–better than shrimp chips.

Hurricanes still in first. Still in shock.

Scott Cullen still dissing the Hurricanes. Still not surprised.

I also know it’s late, but “Gong xi fa cai” to all my readers. Xian nian quai le, and hope you didn’t have too many dumplings.

Not really.

I’m still a little shellshocked, right now.

Wow, first place in the League. Right now, of course. It just boggles my mind–of course, it also bugs the piss out of me because of the idjits that decided to come out of the woodwork and start acting like fuckheads because (for starters) Scott Cullen at TSN refuses to put the Hurricanes at #1 in his power rankings despite the fact that the ‘Canes have been winning even though they have a metric assload of injuries.

Look, fellow Caniacs–the guy has made it clear that he doesn’t like us and that that’s why he refuses to rank us any higher than 3rd or 4th. Therefore, it is useless to hammer him with metric assloads of mouth-breathing stupidity and semiliterate rantings about jealousy and disrespect and whatever else. In fact, it’s just plain wrong to hammer him with all that crap in the first place–and if you’ve done it, I don’t EVEN want to hear you bitching about assy behaviour from fans of other teams.

Capisce?

In case you haven’t noticed, the theme of this post is “Don’t be a frickin’ dumbass, you frickin’ dumbass.”

(and no, there will be no frickin’ sharks with frickin’ lasers on their frickin’ foreheads in this post.)

AND ANOTHER THING!

I have a serious problem with people that act like shitheads in another team’s barn. You go, you cheer when your team scores, you shout encouragement to your team, and then you get in you car and go the hell home after the game. Period. If you can’t say anything nice to the home team’s fans, then just shut the hell up. If you can’t be respectful toward the other team’s fans as a guest in their house, then just stay the hell home. If any of the home team’s fans act like fools toward you, get an usher to deal with ‘em. If you see any of your fellow fans acting like fools, tell ‘em to knock it the hell off and stop making you look bad–and if they turn their guns on you, get an usher to deal with ‘em.

Of course, I say this as somebody who’s taken the law into her own hands when ushers refuse to take care of fellow Caniacs that feel the need to show their asses.

Teams that I hate, and fanbases that I hate, I don’t hate out of jealousy. I don’t envy them their success–the gods favor those that they feel are worthy, and I learned long ago not to argue with them–and arrogantly blowing my hate off as “envy” doesn’t do anything except reinforce that hatred, because if it’s one thing I don’t envy it’s an asshat with a small e-peen.

Just my thoughts on the matter.